Just The Way It Is - Sequel to That's Ma Name (Edited)

Prologue

I woke with a startled jump just as I had every night after she left, haunted by the forever reoccurring dream that tagged along with her departure. I was asleep, and she placed the letter under my pillow before she kissed my forehead and left.

I sighed into the pillow placed vertically down the bed. I loved this pillow. It was hers. It still smelt of her. Her scent. It was always something I loved. I craved more of it as the soft fabric was quickly losing her aroma. That can be easily explained with over six months of her absence. For six months I've missed her morning cuddles. Her beautiful, breathtaking smile. Her daily cup of tea just before she went to bed. I sighed again at the amazing memories she left me with before a tear rolled off my face, the pillow catching it. It's caught every tear I shed.

The first week was the worst. I remember not getting out of bed after reading the letter. It was the first time I turned her pillow around. She left the day of his funeral. I thought she had went out to drink it off. I thought she popped out to have a few to numb the pain a little. That would have been perfectly acceptable. I would have fully understood but as I grabbed the pillow my fingers brushed a piece of paper. It was her letter, scrawly handwriting and all.

I still contacted her mum now and then. Just to see if she had checked in. She never did, but after a phone call with Karen I always felt that little bit better. Karen just reminded me of her so much. God I missed her.

After she left I had no where to turn. I remember I had a fixation with going around to Taylor's for a whole month after she left. It was like I'd go to the ends of the earth to gather every last bit of her before she was gone completely. After all, she did live here for 2 years before I came along. There was many nights I stayed there, I laid on the mattress on the floor of her old room with her little white fairy lights and cried myself to sleep. God I missed her. And no mathematical measurement could convey exactly how much. No scientific theory could explain how it effected me. There was no explanation that could begin to explain how I was still in so much pain but one - love.