9 Mar 2023:
****** THIS CHAPTER AND MANY (BUT NOT ALL) THAT FOLLOW HAVE NOT YET UNDERGONE EDITS. PLEASE EXCUSE ANY MISTAKES, CHANGES, OR INCONSISTENCIES AS I CONTINUE TO EDIT *****
TW: Child Abuse; Physical Abuse; Severe Mental Illness
Author's Note: I consider this to be one of the most disturbing chapters in the entire book; please be aware that in what follows is an extremely graphic depiction of postpartum depression, mental illness, and near infanticide (infant death at a parent's hand) - I would urge extreme caution when reading this, or skipping entirely if you sense it will be too upsetting.
Madness runs in nearly every pure-blood family.
In fact, it's so inescapably common among them that every generation's guaranteed at least one or two seriously mentally ill witches or wizards, and oftentimes more.
... Just one of the many negative consequences resulting from decades, sometimes centuries, of close intermarriage.
The madness can take many forms;
Some heirs show rather disturbing violent tendencies; near homicidal impulses.
Others find themselves trapped in a life of completely oppressive depressive episodes.
Still others find they face bouts of uncontrolled mania; of wild, incredibly risky behaviour.
But when the madness of pure-blooded wizardry reveals itself, in whatever iteration it takes, it goes without saying that it's never, ever - under absolutely any circumstances - acknowledged or discussed.
... Walburga Black's just one of many in that way; hardly unique.
For Walburga, there's a confluence of behaviours that manifest when the madness flares up and grips her.
Hypomania, to name just one.
And when that flares up, the reedy thin, ivory skinned witch will go week after week without sleep, or having only barely slept.
Her energy levels during such periods, completely off the charts. Unbounded energy despite the prominent dark circles under her cold, vacant eyes.
Extreme irritability - the likes of which are difficult to imagine if you've never experienced such an episode - irritability that often leads to violent, uncontrolled outbursts.
... Suffice it to say all those around Walburga Black need walk on pins and needles during such periods, lest they awaken a terrible wrath.
And during these times, absolutely anything might set her off. Though it goes without saying it's almost always Sirius ...
...
... The summer Regulus Arcturus Black was born was rather difficult for Walburga, though she refused to admit that to anybody, nevermind her own self.
Despite the joy she felt at welcoming her little star into her life, the young witch found herself laden with extreme postpartum complications.
For one, Reggie's birth triggered a hypomanic episode the likes of which she'd never known.
Orion, barely around to help her, to support her, instead disappeared, ostensibly consumed with managing the family estate.
And little Sirius, still a baby himself, didn't take to the new arrival well at all.
And so, after approximately a month of barely sleeping, barely eating, Walburga Black snapped entirely.
She doesn't remember - even to this day, she doesn't fully remember how it happened -
All she remembers for certain is that baby Sirius wouldn't stop crying, and in her desperation, her frustration, she tossed him roughly down into his cot.
She tried - she really did - she tried to walk away, to calm herself down ...
But the baby boy wouldn't stop crying -
He wouldn't stop ...
... Wouldn't
... Stop
And the breaking point came when his cries triggered his infant brother's.
Walburga returned to them and plucked little Regulus up out of his cot -
She meant to reach for Sirius, but in her confused state ....
She reached for the wrong baby ...
And the next thing she knew, she was hovering over the bathtub, having set Regulus down on the cold, porcelain surface of the tub.
"Quiet, Sirius!"
Words she hisses to Regulus as she lifts his head up and secures the stopper in the tub, tears of frustration streaming down her bony cheeks, "Be quiet! BE QUIET!"
But baby Regulus is crying louder than ever now.
And she knows nothing in this moment -
Not even properly recognising her son -
Walburga knows nothing other than the need - the absolutely desperate need - to end the crying.
Anything to end the crying, once and for all -
Eyes completely glazing over, she leans forward and turns the tap to the bathtub on full force, an instant, incredibly powerful stream of ice cold water now pouring down upon little Regulus Black.
For the first few seconds, his shrieks are louder than ever -
But his little self cannot keep up with the cascade she's forced down upon him, and as he squirms helplessly beneath her, the water continues to pour around him, on top of him -
He will die like this
He will die here
This innocent little baby, barely a month old
He will die because of his mother's madness -
... Except not;
Because that's when Kreacher comes rushing into the bathroom, and pulls his mad mistress away from the bath, sending her crashing down onto the floor as he twists the tap off and plucks Regulus out of the bathtub.
As Walburga sits there, blinking, the spell of her insanity, its fog, seemingly lifts.
And she gasps at the sight she's met with -
"My baby!"
Eyes widening as he stares back at her, Kreacher pulls away, holding the child close to his body protectively.
Miraculously, Regulus is fine -
Well, fine health wise, that is.
No water has entered his little lungs, a veritable miracle given how much poured down above and upon him.
And though chilled, he's not yet dangerously cold;
Nothing a fresh change and a warm blanket can't fix.
"What's happening, Kreacher?"
"My Lady Black ..."
Though he's hesitant, the little house elf hands her back her infant son.
As she holds her still soaking baby to her breast, Walburga Black shakes her head, tears of revelation streaming down her face -
Because she almost - she almost -
Silence as she leans forward and thrusts the baby back to her house elf, "... I need to sleep, Kreacher. Will you care for the baby while I rest?"
"Of course, My Lady. Of course. Kreacher lives to serve the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black."
YOU ARE READING
Coiled (Book 1 of 2)
Fanfic"This is our story: Reggie, Evan, and I." A Marauders Era story that follows the reader (FMC), Regulus Black & Evan Rosier through their last year at Hogwarts into the First Wizarding War. This is book 1 of 2, and contains the first two parts of th...
