clementine // joshler

11

tyler's point of view

when theo knocks on my door, i feel nervous. some part of me wishes i could change my mind at the last second, to tell him nevermind. unfortunately, i have just enough manners to not do so. instead, i open the door with a polite smile on my face.

"hey, theo." i step out of my doorway and turn to lock it. "it's nice to see you. we had a class together last year, right?"

"yeah, we did. you look great." he smiles back at me, seeming a bit more confident than i am, but maybe worried that being too confident will scare me away. he's right.

i'm so picky about who i spend my free time with and so hesitant to talk to any boy at school. if i were to have a relationship with anyone there, and something went wrong, i'd have to risk seeing them in the hallway every day until graduation. i've avoided it this long, i'd like to keep it that way.

"thanks, so do you. what's the plan for today?"

"well, i was going to ask if you'd like to have a picnic with me? i brought some food." he gestures back to his car. "figured we could sit at the park by the little stream there."

"what was your plan with the food if i had said no to the picnic?" i laugh a little at the face he makes after my question, like he hadn't even thought about that possibility.

"um... ask where else you'd like to take it, i guess." he pulls a goofy smile on now, leading me towards his car and opening the door for me. "come on, let's go."

"ah, well, don't be too excited. i'm not sure what sydney's said about me but my personality isn't nearly as entertaining as hers."

he pulls out of the apartment complex and shakes his head. "i bet that's not true. she talks about you all the time. i mean, at least when i talk to her in class. we sit next to each other and she's always talking about the stuff you guys do together."

it's weird to think about sydney talking to other people about me and emily. she has more friends outside of our trio than emily and i do combined though so i guess it isn't unreasonable to assume she's told plenty of people about our shenanigans.

"yeah, she is a good friend. we have fun." i turn to look at him but then look away after just a second, afraid he'll think i'm trying to stare at him or something weird. i clear my throat before speaking again. "so, what do you like to do for fun?"

"not much. i play video games sometimes, read, listen to music. i'm just kind of along for the ride a lot of the time." he shrugs and pulls into a parking space shortly after.

we make our way to a picnic table by the stream he had mentioned. it's under a tree so we're still covered by shade, the leaves just barely beginning to change color, a nice yellow-green canopy above us to block the heat of the late august sun.

he distributes the picnic food, a couple sandwiches paired with containers of grapes, strawberries, crackers, baby carrots, and celery.

"i didn't really know what to bring but i figured this is the type of stuff i see on instagram or whatever," he explains, handing me a bottle of water.

"i think it's perfect," i admit, a small smile gracing my face once again.

maybe this won't be too bad after all.

-

after eating and talking for awhile, theo brings me back home and walks me to the door.

"i, um, had a really nice time tonight," i tell him, suddenly feeling more shy than i have all day.

"me too." he smiles at me, his demeanor nice and calm. "thanks for giving me a chance."

"i could say the same. thank you."

"maybe we could do it again sometime?"

i think about it for a moment, about how nice it felt to let go a little and just have a nice conversation with someone other than sydney or emily.

"you know, i think i'd like that."

"yeah?" his smile gets a little wider. "cool. me too. i'll text you, okay?"

"alright." i feel my cheeks grow just the slightest bit pink.

i think he gets the message that im not sure about the protocol for any of this because he just nods and kisses my cheek. "goodnight, tyler. i'll see you at school monday."

-

"so, how did it go?" sydney asks, a purple face mask applied perfectly across her features and in the process of drying.

"it was good," i say, curled up on my side under the blanket.

it's barely three, but i could definitely use a nap before i get started on my homework due monday. i just didn't have the heart to decline when i heard my phone ring with a group facetime.

"that's all we get?" emily asks.

"what do you wanna know?" i laugh quietly, feeling like i'm eight years old on the playground again, giggling with sydney about a boy she kissed by the slide.

"everything! did you kiss? what did you talk about? what did you do?" sydney exclaims, patting her cheeks with her fingers to check her mask.

"you're not supposed to touch it, syd," i point out.

"shut up! tell me how everything was right now," she says, doing her best not to move her face too much in an effort not to crack the clay mask smeared across her skin.

"okay, okay. fine."

i give them the full story, including how i wished i would have cancelled all the way to the kiss he left on my cheek.

"you didn't even kiss?" sydney rolls her eyes. "lame."

"be nice!" emily scolds her jokingly, rolling her eyes. "anyway, i'm glad you had a good time, ty. i think that was a good step in the right direction for you."

"i think you need to get laid."

"sydney!"

"what?"

"i dont think i'm ready for any of that just yet." i laugh again, my cheeks definitely pink now from her statement.

"and that's perfectly valid, ty," emily reassures me.

"nerds."

"sydney."

"emily."

"really?"

"you know i love you guys, even if you are huge nerds."

"we love you too, syd."

we hang up after a while, the banter having died down and each of us going back to our weekend activities.

i just continue to lay in bed, thinking about what sydney had said. i'm definitely not ready for sex yet, and even if i was, i wouldn't want my first time to be with someone i've been on one date with.

it does worry me though, that he'll get bored without that part of things. most high school boys seem to be that way, as i've witnessed with both sydney and emily.

i try not to worry about it too much, but when i look to my bedside table and see the book i'm supposed to be reading for mr. dun's class, i feel my stomach drop again.

i'm doomed.

(an: how do we feel about theo? i know we dont know much about him yet but i am curious [ha] to hear any thoughts or predictions.)