clementine // joshler

32

tyler's point of view

i wake up on josh's couch with a blanket over me. josh isn't there anymore and i begin to panic for just a minute. i stand up and fold the blanket, leaving it in the armchair on the other side of the room.

because the layout of his apartment is the same as mine, i find the door that i assume is to his bedroom and knock lightly.

i don't hear an answer, so i try again. when he still doesn't answer, i open the door about an inch to peek in.

josh is asleep in his bed, shirtless. i feel my cheeks go pink and i try to memorize the sight before carefully closing the door.

i open a few drawers in his kitchen until i find one with things like tape, tacks, and pens. i find a pad of sticky notes and take one, along with a pencil. i stick the note on the counter and leave a short message.

josh,
sorry i fell asleep on your couch, but thank you for the blanket.
i'm assuming you went to bed, so i'm gonna head home.
i hope you're feeling better by the time you read this.
- tyler :)

-

while i'm getting ready for work the next afternoon, i debate whether or not i want to tell sydney and emily about what happened yesterday. i think i want to keep it to myself. but at the same time, i feel like i need to scream about the fact that he covered me up with a blanket to someone.

i remember then that he is still my teacher, and i'd hate myself forever if something happened and he ended up losing his job because of me.

i know sydney and emily would never say anything, but i still decide not to tell them for now.

when i get to work, jenna smiles at me.

"hey, boss, how ya been?" she asks.

maybe i could tell jenna. she's safe, right? she obviously doesn't go to my school and she wouldn't do anything to get me in trouble. maybe she'll have some advice?

"actually, can i talk to you about something?"

"of course, t. what's going on?"

i explain a bit about the situation and gauge her reactions carefully.

"i know you told me it was a bad idea, but jen, i can't help how i feel. i don't know how to explain it, but it's more than a crush. you know i'm not one to make rash decisions or jump into things. and i think he might feel the same, but i'd rather die than admit anything and be wrong. i don't want him to hate me. i don't know, it's just a lot." i sigh, looking down at my shoes.

"well, tyler, you're not a child. you're grown and you have been for awhile. i know it's complicated now but i can't blame you for wanting to follow your heart. if you have real feelings for him, i'll support you. and i think you should trust yourself more. but either way, it'll be okay. you'll graduate soon and won't have to worry about being caught if something does happen. or, you could just sit in the back and keep your head down till then. he's grown, too. he can make his own decisions just like you can," she says, her tone gentle and reassuring.

"what if i'm reading everything all wrong?" i ask, my voice barely above a whisper.

"it doesn't sound like it, but i think it might be smart to spend some more time alone together to get a better sense. maybe hang out one on one, get to know each other more. i'm sure you'll find an excuse to get there." she gives me a soft smile and pats my back twice.

"thank you, jen. i'll try and think of something."

-

i spend the next several days brainstorming how i'm going to spend more time with josh.