clementine // joshler

43

tyler's point of view

i don't fall asleep for awhile, too in my head as i lie next to him.

i got everything i wanted, everything i'd imagined. the blueprint to my future is something i can map out here, in this room, and it's almost surreal.

it is too much, really, but in the best way. it's better than i ever would've thought it could be and it's a wonderful feeling to be loved by him. i guess i can't say for sure if it's love yet, and maybe it's naive to be so certain of my feelings. he's just so perfect that it's hard not to feel so sure.

i've never let myself go, never let anyone other than sydney and emily in. but recently, with him, i've felt so much happier, so much calmer, so much more of everything.

and i can't help but shake the feeling that i am falling quickly and hopelessly in love with him.

-

i wake up still attached to josh, who is already awake. he's scrolling on his phone, rubbing my back softly.

"good morning," my voice comes out quiet and small, apparently not ready for use just yet.

he looks down at me with a warm smile and puts his phone aside, pressing a kiss to the top of my head. "good morning, sweetheart. how'd you sleep?"

"good. how long have you been up?"

"not long," he says. "i didn't want to wake you."

the sentiment tugs a sleepy smile onto my face and i sit up a little, stretching my arms above my head and then rubbing my eyes.

"well, thank you. i won't keep you trapped any longer."

"alright, i'm just gonna go to the bathroom. i'll be right back." he kisses my cheek and then stands and walks away.

i look around the room, taking it in for a moment, reminding myself that this is real.

i pick up my phone and scroll for a minute, liking a few christmas posts i come across.

josh comes back after a minute or two, but doesn't sit down again. he leans against the doorway, head tilted to the side in question. "do you want me to make anything for breakfast? i've been told i make a pretty good french toast."

"that sounds good, thank you. i'm gonna go to the bathroom now that you're out and i'll meet you in there."

"alright, love." he pushes himself off the doorframe then and walks off down the hall, leaving me alone in the room again.

once my teeth are brushed and i'm finished in the bathroom, i come to sit at the table.

"so, do you have any plans for today?" he asks.

"not really. i work later, but other than that, nothing. do you?"

"i guess i do now. my new plan is to hang out with you before you go to work." he turns to smile at me and then flips a piece of toast in the pan.

"hmm, i dunno. sounds boring." i giggle, unable to even make the joke with a straight face.

"oh, hush." he lets out a genuine laugh that makes me feel shy and shakes his head. "how many pieces do you want?"

"just one, thank you. i don't normally eat much for breakfast."

"anytime," he says. i think he means it.

"what do you normally do on your days off?"

"not much. i catch up on grading or lesson planning, watch tv, read, listen to music, hang out with hayley. i'm pretty boring. i just prefer to stay in." he shrugs a little and slides a piece of toast onto a plate for me.