love me until i love myself / l.s

5 (tw/smut)

''Okay, first celebrity crush?'' Harry asked, giggling. His mind was all fuzzy from the champagne and his belly full of chocolate cake. Louis thought for a second, his memory going back at least a decade ago.

''I don't know...Jennifer Anniston was pretty hot, still is. I'm gonna go with her.'' Louis said, nodding to himself.

''She was my crush too! Before I realized that I was gay, as fuck. My first male crush, though, was Brad Pitt. He was fit!" Harry exclaimed and Louis had never seen him so enthusiastic before. He had never seen him excited for anything other than sex, to be fair and it was kind of cute. Getting to know each other and all.

''Favorite song?'' Louis asked him and Harry took a gulp of the almost finished champagne.

''Brightside by the Lumineers. Of course, my favorite songs changes from time to time, but this is my all time go to song.'' Harry said.

''I've never heard it before.'' Louis shrugged.

''How? Let me put it on and tell me what is your favorite song.'' Harry said, reaching over the nightstand for his phone. He had now changed to just Louis' dress shirt, 'cause apparently was comfier than his own T-Shirt.

''I don't really listen to music. Only if I catch something on the radio.''

Harry gasped at his words, looking really offended.

''You don't listen to music? You- Oh my God, how can you not have a favorite song? There are so many bands I know you're gonna love. I can recommend you so many songs.'' Harry said excited, scrolling down his Spotify.

''First of all, the anthem.'' Harry said, pressing play on his favorite song and let his body fall down on the bed, closing his eyes.

Louis focused on Harry's more than the songs playing softly in background.

''When this first came out, I thought I wanted a love story to feel like this songs.'' Harry smiled his eyes still closed, and threw an arm over his eyes.

''And what do you want now?'' Louis asked.

''To enjoy the good sex, spending nights in a hotel that nearly killed me, doing my job. These kind of things. Look, I am young and I am so sick and tired of searching 'the one'. I realized that the perfect man for me will come when I least expect it. That's it.'' Harry said, taking his final gulp from the champagne and pouted when he realized that the bottle was empty.

''You are a big romantic deep down, aren't you?'' Louis asked.

''The biggest. I am the most romantic male stripper you will meet out there.'' Harry smirked and Louis let out a loud cackle.

''I am not romantic at all. Maybe that's why my marriage failed.'' he shrugged, walking towards the mini bar and pulled out small bottles of vodka, scotch, tequila and other drinks that are probably half alcohol.

''How does it feel? Having a failed marriage, I mean.'' Harry asked him.

''It's- like a weight, I guess? I mean, you know that you have nothing in common anymore. Like, I feel like I don't know her anymore, you know? That's at least what I felt a year ago. Now, I wish she would just fucking leave. Going back to the same, big ass house with a bitter woman, she calls herself wife and sleep in separate bed and crap? No, thank you.'' Louis let out a bitter laugh.

''That sucks. Sorry.''

''Nah, it's okay.'' the older man gave another shrugged, flopping on the bed and let the small bottles of alcohol fall on the sheets.

''Tell me about your marriage, before it fell apart.'' Harry told him, grabbing a small bottle of vodka and taking a huge gulp.

''It was cool. I mean, we weren't rich, so we lived in a small apartment. It was nice. Like, after we got married things stopped being exciting and fun, but I get it, you know? We were young and stupid and marrying Eleanor shouldn't have happened. I don't know if I even did in the first place. The idea was just always there and I just said why not? We had just graduated college and I wanted the complete image. Wife, job, apartment.''