love me until i love myself / l.s

42

After three days of no signs from Harry, Louis decided to go back to his old flat and then to his work, just to make sure that the green-eyed man was alright. Even if he didn't wanna have to do anything with Louis anymore.

It did hurt, though. Because it was the first time that Louis loved like that and felt someone that close to him, you know? Even if he didn't actually say that (afraid of Harry's reaction), he tried to at least show it to him. Well, he was right when he said that Harry would never love him back and with time, he would get over Harry. It was fine, Louis did not need him. He was thirty for fuck's sake and a very busy man. He didn't have time for these childish feelings and in a couple of weeks, he would have moved on. It was okay.

He parked the car, opening the door and stepped out of it, taking off his sunglasses. He stared at the building, familiar memories from when he had chased Harry down the street that night, because Harry was upset over someone asking me if Louis was paying him to fuck him. (A/N reference to chapter 8/ I didn't even remember I had written that shit lmao)

And then, it was just so easy, too easy maybe. It was all about getting off. No feeling, no hurt, not this. Not this fucking situation, where Harry took off like that, without a goodbye, an explanation, or something that would make Louis know that the younger boy was safe. Fucking hell.

Louis entered the building and went into the elevator, anxious and wrecked at this situation. If Harry wasn't there either, he didn't know what to do anymore. He just wanted to know if he was okay and then he would fucking leave him alone, if that's what he really wanted.

He knocked on the door and no response (he wasn't that surprised). Harry wasn't even in there probably, but he had to give it one more try. He kept knocking, until he was sure that no one was in there and sighed.

''I'm sorry. Can I help you with something?'' a woman asked. She seemed around her eighties and she was carrying a shopping bag. Her big brown eyes were narrowed at Louis, as if she was suspicious of him and Louis nodded immediately.

''Yes, yes! There was a man living here? Harry Styles. Do you know where he might be? Or if he still lives here?'' Louis asked, kinda nervous, because he didn't know how the woman would react. Maybe she will think that Louis is some kind of a stalker, who came here to hurt them or something.

''He moved away a couple of days ago. He was a lovely neighbor too. Poor boy was working late at nights, but he still made time to plant those cute little flowers in his balcony and take care of them every single morning. He was not very loud and always polite. I don't think we will find a neighbor like him-'' she started saying and Louis politely cut her off, placing his hand on her shoulder and gave her a light squeeze.

''Thank you so much and I am sure he was a lovely neighbor but I gotta run. Do you need help with this?'' he asked, staring at the shopping bag and the woman shook her head, smiling.

''You are such a cute boy. This is actually quite funny, cause I think I've seen you here before?'' she asked, recalling her memory and Louis nodded.

''Yeah, Harry is my friend. We haven't seen each other in a while and I came to visit, but apparently, he is not here.'' Louis said and the kind woman nodded, sadness in her eyes, as if she were sympathetic of Louis' situation.

''I hope you get a hold of him soon.'' she told him.

''Thank you so much for your help.'' Louis told her one more time, before he returned back to his car, sighing. It felt like Harry was trying to avoid Louis. Maybe that was what he was doing, but still, Louis had to go to Harry's job and ask his manager, just to make sure.

*

''Harry Styles? He used to work for you.'' Louis asked, looking around the office of the strip club's manager and the man shook his head.

''Not anymore. He quit around two months ago.'' the man said and Louis hummed, trying not to show how surprised he was. Harry always used to try convincing him not to come to the shows at night and Louis just figured Harry didn't like him there because he was distracting him or something, so he decided not to go. However, the real question is why did Harry quit and where the fuck he was going all those other night, when he was 'working'?

''Did he say why or gave some kind of explanation?'' he asked, thumbing his fingers against the wooden desk, but Harry's former manager just shrugged.

''He said something about wanting to change careers and not wanting to strip anymore, which is a shame, 'cause he was my best dancer, but what can you do, right?'' he let out a small chuckle and poured himself a glass of whiskey. He nodded towards Louis, as if he was asking if he wanted a drink too, but the blue-eyed man shook his head, getting up. He smoothed his shirt and just exited the office with no other word escaping his lips. This was just a fucking shitty situation, leaving Louis hurt and confused.