love me until i love myself / l.s

33

Louis and Harry were laying on the bed, an arm wrapped around Harry's shoulders, pulling him closer. The older man was brushing his lips against Harry's shoulder and the young boy had his face pressed against Louis' chest. Louis reached and wrapped a finger around Harry's curl, tugging at it lightly and the green-eyed man looked up and smiled at Louis, who grinned back and leaned in to capture his lips with his.

Harry hummed, smiling into the kiss and he let Louis push him down against the mattress. Harry wrapped his arm around Louis' neck, pulling him closer and Louis' body hovered over the younger man, stroking his hip.

''So...did...you...have fun tonight?'' Louis asked between kisses.

''Yeah, I really enjoyed that thing you did with your tongue and-'' Harry was cut off, when Louis bit his shoulder harder than usual.

''I meant the dinner and Paris, Harold.'' he rolled his eyes and Harry giggled.

''Oh yeah, I had fun, thank you so much. The sad part, though, is that I'm gonna crave those rolls for the rest of my life. I should have asked for the recipe.'' Harry whined and Louis barked out a laugh, falling back to his side.

''We can go back and have as many rolls as you want.'' Louis said and the younger man beamed at him. Louis grinned at how cute the younger man was. Harry moved closer to Louis and pressed his head against the crook of Louis' neck, inhaling his scent. Louis wrapped an arm around his waist, pulling him closer and ran his knuckles on Harry's spine, slowly.

They stayed like this and honestly, Harry didn't wanna let go of the older man. All his mind could think was FUCK in big calligraphy letters and he knew that he was so fucking fucked and not even in the good way (okay, in the good way too.), but he could not be in love with Louis. He's sure that he is, but he just isn't. There is no way he is. If he really is (which he is and he knows), then he is gonna end up hurt, as always and he can't afford that. He really can't fucking afford that. On the one hand, he knows that he should probably fuck off and disappear from London and never see or hear about Louis ever again. But at the same time, Louis is so fucking nice and Harry is so attracted to him. Not only because he is extremely hot (which he definitely is and it has been settled more than once), but because he is literally so, so nice and caring.

When he first met me him, he thought he was an asshole, but now, he was so fucking sweet and nice and caring. He always was there for Harry and the younger man couldn't contain his love for the older man anymore.

He's never been in love before and it was weird. It felt so weird, that Harry just had to tell someone about his feelings. Fucking fuck.

''Lou?'' he asked, supporting his chin on Louis' shoulder blade and the older man turned a bit, so he could face Harry properly. He hummed for Harry to continue.

''You're thirty, right? And you say you don't wanna get married, because of your failed marriage with Eleanor and I just don't get it, 'cause I think you're a romantic at heart.'' Harry said, choosing his words carefully.

''Yeah, but I just wanna focus on myself. I might be a hopeless romantic or whatever, but I am done trying to chase someone, who is just gonna use or hurt me. So, I'm gonna live my life and if it's meant to be, it will be. Fate is gonna decide.'' Louis said and Harry raised an eyebrow.

''Oh? I thought you said that you never wanted to get married.''

''What do you know? Maybe I just changed my mind.'' Louis said, a playful smile on his lips. Harry gave him a small smile back and Louis leaned in, capturing his lips with the younger man's. Harry smiled into the soft kiss and pulled back to look at Louis in the eyes.

''What?'' he asked confused, but still smiling and Harry just shook his head, kissing him again, more deeply this time and he cupped Louis' cheek. Louis hummed against Harry's mouth and wrapped an arm around his waist and when he was out of breath pulled away, planting pecks on Harry's lips. The younger boy blushed and grinned, as he straddled Louis' lap.

''So, what's with the love questions?'' Louis asked and Harry shrugged, leaning in to kiss Louis again, but the older man cut him off by pressing his pointy finger against Harry's lips.

''No, there was a reason. You just said it out of the blue?''

''I mean, it is the City of Love, so I figured why not ask, I guess.'' Harry said and Louis nodded running his thumb over Harry's jaw, before pulling him closer and pressed his lips on the corner of Harry's mouth.

''Are you mad?'' Harry asked, pouting a bit and Louis chuckled.

''No, I was just confused, 'cause it was a bit out of nowhere, so...'' Louis said and Harry hummed.

''For the record, I am not in love with you or anything, I just thought to ask.'' Harry simply stated and Louis nodded again.

''I am not in love with you either.'' Louis told him and Harry kissed him hard, as if they were sealing a deal. A deal that was made long time I go. And a deal they broke.

Both of them.