fifty two

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July 4, 2018 Los Angeles

The past 3 days I spent in London with my family. I didn't see my mom and sister since February when I went for BRIT Awards. So I wanted to have some time with them, even if I was dying to go back and talk with Lizzie.

My mom gave me a whole talk about that article, but when I said the truth, she softened and gave me a big, comforting hug. She also gave me an idea about how to confirm my version when I'll meet Lizzie.

I mean, I know I messed up anyway, because I should tell Lizzie about that kiss as soon as it happened or at least when we met and not let my feeling to take over, but these photos and article exaggerated that kiss. It lasted less than 10 seconds and I even didn't kiss back. My mind just went blank slightly because of alcohol. It's not an excuse, but I want to show Lizzie it, so she can believe me and I hope she can forgive it.

I really didn't want to kiss that bloody girl.

I don't want to kiss anyone who's not my girl. Not for over a year.

So having this in mind, I return to Los Angeles after a long conversation with my publicist about that situation. I texted with Lizzie yesterday and she told me to come to her house after lunchtime.

So with less than 3 hours of sleep, because I couldn't fall asleep in my bed alone, I dress into a celadon polo shirt with long sleeves, beige dress pants and white Converse before I drive to Lizzie's house.

So with less than 3 hours of sleep, because I couldn't fall asleep in my bed alone, I dress into a celadon polo shirt with long sleeves, beige dress pants and white Converse before I drive to Lizzie's house

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This time, I don't use my key, but knock on her door nervously. A Million thoughts going through my head right now.

What if she wants to talk with me only to break up with me once and for all because she realized that I'm not worth her love anymore? That she can't forgive me for that kiss? Fuck, I'm sweating as hell. But before I can get even more stressed, the door flies open and I'm met with the brunette herself.

I immediately notice the dark circles under her eyes and tired expression on her face. She doesn't look happy and I feel the guilt eating me alive right now, knowing that I caused it.

She's dressed in white long sleeve and gray sweatpants, her hair tied in a messy bun on top of her head. Even with so domestic look, she's the most gorgeous girl I've ever seen.

"Hi, Elizabeth" I mutter shyly, connecting my hands behind my back as I look at her. Her face stays neutral and I bite my lip anxiously, not being to be able to read her first time for so long. I always knew what she was thinking when we were together and now it's all blank.

Fuck you, Luiza.

"Hey" She mumbles back, looking down on the ground before she steps aside and open the door wider for me. "Come in, we have a lot to talk about" She says as she looks into my eyes finally for the first time. I feel like the time freezes around me when I see her beautiful, green eyes after so long. I miss her so much.

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