Studio 22 | Mary-Kate Olsen

Chapter Four

December 22nd 2021 - New York City - New York-Presbyterian Hospital 

"Blue?" My mother's soft voice fluttered through the air. I could feel her delicate touch on my hand, her fingertips dancing on my skin creating different shapes. My eyelids felt heavy and I couldn't force them open like I normally could in the mornings. Wait? Why is my mum here? Isn't the air supposed to be thick, hot, and suffocating...and is that air conditioning? What is happening? Am I dreaming?

I used all my might to force my eyes open and my mum was looking right back at me. Her big brown eyes were teary but her lips had a faint smile. "Mamì?" I asked, with a scratchy, dry throat, "What's happening?" It hurt to talk. "You scared us for a second," She says. "What?" I asked, not completely following, the haziness of sleep still fogging my brain. I lifted my arm up to touch my face in an attempt to rub the sleep away before noticing the cast covering it. When did that happen? What is going on? Had I crossed into an alternate reality? "Do you remember what happened?" My dad asked. I rolled my head to look around the room. It was safe to say I wasn't in Iraq anymore. With every passing second the events of the accident played out in my head and I felt sick. Watching the building implode on itself with helpless defenceless people inside it. I looked back at my parents in hopes to block out the memory again, seeking comfort in their gaze. "I don't want to talk about it," I say in a blunt tone so they knew not to push me on it. My dad stroked my hair off my face before pecking my forehead. "We're just glad you're home safe," He spoke so softly.

"I'm sorry, I worried you," I tell them, meaning it. I knew how hard it was for them after Atlas and what they must have felt when they got that call that I had been hurt. I remember leaving the hospital in Iraq on a bed in an aircraft but the journey was blurry; now I'm here with double the guilt for worrying my parents and for what happened back in Iraq. "Blue, it's okay," Mum says squeezing the hand she had grasped. I knew this meant I wasn't going to complete the last few months of my tour. Dad said when I got injured that was it. I had to stay home. Those were the conditions that he laid out for me before I left. I doubt he's willing to shift on those rules now that I'm laying in the hospital with a broken arm and some other problems. "The doctor said you had a nasty hit to the head. From the explosion." I closed my eyes not wanting to hear anything about the accident. I didn't want to think about it. "They were worried that there was some damage," At that I wiggle my toes and fingertips, I watched the bed shirt move as I wiggled them about. Okay so I could still walk, my fingers moved also. That was the most important thing I could think about. I could hear. No immediate signs of damage. "You stopped breathing in transit, they placed a breathing tube in," She continued to explain. Now i knew why my throat hurt so much. "They think you're okay, they just want to keep you here for some observations," Dad tells me, finishing off. "Okay. Where's Sage?" I asked, not seeing him here and all I wanted was to hug him. "He's home, waiting for you." "Why isn't he here?" I was hurt he wasn't sitting right where mum was holding my hand. We were always there for each other, even if we were mad at each other. Why wasn't he here? "You know how he is." I nodded and let my eyes close again. "I'm tired," I tell them, keeping my eyes closed. I wanted them to leave, not that I wasn't grateful for them being here, I just didn't want them worrying anymore about me, sitting in the bland room watching me and the monitors. I also didn't want them to see the pain in my eyes knowing my brother didn't want to see me.

They both pecked my head and told me to rest. Mum's hand was still in mine, she wouldn't let go, not even for a second. I guess they were staying with me whilst I rested.  I felt peccant for causing her so much anxiety. I should have moved faster. I should have gone against my commanding officer, I should have gone and gotten them. I know I could have gotten them. If I didn't hesitate none of this would be happening right now.

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December 29th 2021 - NewYork City - The Sinclair Brownstone