Studio 22 | Mary-Kate Olsen

Chapter Seven

February 3rd 2022 - New York City - Safe Haven Community Centre

Monday rolled around far too quickly and I was back sitting in a circle with strangers, in a white-washed room. Could I still call them all strangers? I knew about some of their most traumatising experiences and their deepest emotions. I guess I was a stranger to them, they knew my name, and that was it. That was all they needed to know. I take my usual seat next to Ariel, AKA Cindy and fix my eyes on my lap as I did all the times before this.

I tried not to make eye contact with anyone because I didn't want to talk or share. I was there to listen; that's all I had to do. "Hey, Blue," Will greeted me as he took his position beside me. I nodded in acknowledgement, adding a small smile to greet him. "How was your week?" He asked. "It was okay." "Did you go out? See your friends?" "Yeah," I say quietly. Will always tried to get me to talk to him about my week or talk at all. I wasn't ready to share and pour my heart out to him. I just managed to tell my family everything, and that only happened because I was emotionally exhausted and couldn't hold it in any longer. "What did you do?" "I hung out with my mum, and we went into town. My friend came over and stuff." I shrug. "So you actually left the house this week?" He teased, and I rolled my eyes playfully at him. "It's good." He nudged me with his elbow. "Getting back out there. Seeing the world." He was being over the top. "It's New York." "Pretty big place." "The world is a pretty big place. New York is a spec of dust in comparison." I pointed out. "So you're good at geography." "Just better than you, apparently." I teased back. He had an amused smirk on his lips which told me he was enjoying this back and forth between us. "How about you share something today?"

My face fell flat, and my eyes darted around the room. I had become familiar with these people in this room but that didn't mean I was ready or wanted to share anything about my life. "No," I say pretty bluntly. "This is your fourth time here. Do you not think you'd get more from it if you tried to share-" I cut him off. "You said I just had to listen. Those were your words the first week I was here. I won't gain anything from telling people about my insignificant problems, okay? I'm here because it makes my mum happy," I say, making it clear to him that I would not be sharing the burden of my problems with complete strangers who have it way worse than I do. It was not going to happen. "Okay," he surrendered. "Actually," I say as I stand up. "I don't want to do this today," I tell him as I slip my phone into the pocket of my jeans and leave the room. "Oh, come on Blue. Just stay." "I'm good. I'm really good," I say as I exit the room.

I find a seat in the lobby and wait until the session is over before I walk out to the parking lot to find my mum. I put a smile on my face as I swung the door open. "Hey," I greeted her as I climbed into the passenger side. "How was the group today?" "It was good; there were doughnuts and brownies." I lied. Well, I half did, there really were doughnuts and brownies. "That's nice." I nodded. "Can you drop me at the aquarium?" I asked her as she pulled off. "Do you have plans with Jazz?" She asked, raising an eyebrow. "Nope," I say, popping the 'p'. "But we do now, she finishes at lunch today," I informed her. I could see she was trying to hide her approving smile and not make it into a big deal that I actually wanted to hang out with my friend.

—-----------------

February 3rd 2022 - New York City - Aquarium

I walked around the aquarium, looking at all the marine life in the large tanks. I found Turbo, a lot bigger than the baby shark I left behind and sat on the bench in front of his tank. He still swam circles around the other sharks in there, his name fitting him perfectly even after all this time. Kids ran in front of me, stopping in amazement as they took in the three sharks. "He swims so fast, Momma," A little boy said, pointing at Turbo. I sat minding my own business, waiting for Jazz to finish her shift. She still had around an hour, though I didn't mind waiting. It was peaceful here. The reflections of the blue water created a tranquil atmosphere.