Studio 22 | Mary-Kate Olsen

Chapter Sixty-Eight

May 10th 2024 - New York City - ICU

Everyday my routine has been the same. I wake up, go to the hospital and I sit in the waiting area until Sage comes to get me. Papi had been giving me the cold shoulder. He was just trying to respect his daughter's wishes, I understood that but he had to understand that I knew his daughter better than she knew herself. I knew she wanted me there. She was just too proud to admit it.

The more I visited her the longer she let me stay once she woke up. I would talk to her sometimes, other times I'd just sit with her and hold her hand. She wouldn't really react more than squeezing my hand in response to things. I showed her new pictures of Jude almost daily too so she didn't miss out on his first days in this world. Her eyes would get lighter when we spoke about him. Though those moments are short lived because she gets upset. And then makes me leave. I think it's because she wants to say something but she is scared to try in front of me. She only spoke to me when she was telling me to leave. I never fought her on this. I didn't want to upset her. She was already upset enough in those moments.

Today was one of the days where I was in and out of the hospital. I had come to see her this morning when Amos was still there so I stayed in the waiting area. Sage came and sat with me for a while and gave me an update on what the doctors had said. They were going to start physical therapy this week with her. I was nervous because she was still struggling to hold a glass of water without spilling it, I didn't know how she was going to handle physical therapy, she'd be exhausted physically and mentally. At around 1 I took Blue's dirty clothes home to wash so I did that, I repacked her bag with fresh sweats and PJ's. I picked her up a early dinner after Sage texted me saying she didn't eat much of her dinner before returning to the hospital by 4:30.

I didn't go into the room whilst she ate, I just sat outside in the waiting area again. Amos was no longer there so when Blue fell asleep I got to go straight in. I took my usual place beside her bed and held her hand. Atlas came to check in on her and the three of us spoke whilst Blue slept. They were both worried about Blue. She was struggling mentally, they said they haven't seen her smile since she woke up. She's quiet, clearly miserable. I held her hand tighter when they were speaking about her struggles. I just wanted to make her feel better.

When she woke up after her short nap I was still there like I often was. She stopped seeming so shocked when she saw me, she would gaze over at me for a few moments before giving my hand a light squeeze. The boys sat with us for a while, we spoke without acting any differently trying to involve Blue but not pushing her to actively respond to us. Eventually they left the two of us alone. I liked this part, when it was just the two of us.

I told her I brought her fresh clothes and what was in her bag. I told her how Jude was doing, "I'm going to see him tomorrow morning." I told her so she knew I wouldn't be here. Not that I ever really saw her in the mornings anyway. That's when Amos would visit and he was strict about letting me in the room even when she was asleep. "But you can still call me if you need me... I'll come right here." I assured her not that she would admit to wanting me here or needing me here. "f..Pho...Photos." She managed to say. Even when I know what she's going to say or trying to say I let her finish. "Ash sent me some new ones this morning." I get my phone and unlock it quickly. I always showed her pictures of Jude, today was the first time she had prompted me to show her some. She almost smiled when I understood her so quickly. It wasn't that she couldn't get her words out, it would just take her a while and normally she'd get worked up before she got her words out and just stopped. That's what the boys said anyway. I had only heard her say one word at a time. "Louis fell asleep with him on the sofa last night." I told her by showing her the photo that Ash sent to me last night. I showed her a few more. Her eyes softened again like they always did when I'd show her pictures of Jude. I loved it, witnessing flashes of her old self, the happy, light life loving women.