The Seventh Direction

PART TWO: Inner Space. Episode 19

                                               [Wyl narrates —A.A.]

I found myself back at the gates to The Wood, the Whitestone warm beneath me as I sat palms-up, staring at my hands like a baby might, discovering them for the very first time. All the while, deeper concerns—my recent ordeal and that impossible feeling of being impregnated with light and with terror (near simultaneously it happened so fast!) as each opened extremities in my being that I never knew existed—had me frazzled, and it felt like I'd just run the gamut and my body had been thoroughly shaken. Now, though, scarcely a tremor—the shakes, that is, by comparison; and that was a relief. And yet, there might still be repercussions of some magnitude from my ordeal, some backlash from that dimension yet unknown. There might still be, surfacing soon to consciousness, all that had broken loose in me—the trials and the joys, the dark and the light. Somehow, somewhere down the road, in time. Or out-of-time for that matter! But right here, right now, I felt a balanced vibration—balanced enough that I could work with it—descending over me. I do feel a little more balanced now. I do! Still my experience powerfully suggested I was moving toward a higher-grade of balance and a new dimension in consciousness.

The nightmare faded from mind, as I came aware of a flow-of-energy entering my left hand, and moving through me, and exiting out the right. My heart stirred as the flow brought feeling and life back into my world, and I thought: I am newly coming alive! So is this world I am in. I continued gazing at my hands.

How a flow of energy, or feeling, or life, or love for that matter (and I hazard all four come from the same direction!), could create a reality awakening round me that I was waking to, was beyond me. Actually it was the "how of it" that I couldn't wrap my mind around, that was still beyond my limited-knowledge and my conscious-memory to figure out, but the feelings held something familiar within them. Some motion. Some vibration. Some resonance with The Beyond.

Fascinated by the movement through my hands, I proceeded to become one with it, becoming not so much surprised but alerted when like a dark cloud on a sunny day, my nightmare returned to stalk me. Instinctively, reactively, I blocked it, the feeling, and by doing so, the flow of energy through my hands stagnated. And the dark cloud grew darker. I felt like I had tied a rope round my neck, and . . . and . . . oh, God! I can't—

Feeling faint, I began to black out (black, black, all black!) and sensed the clutch of death and felt utter abyss (eternal darkness), when the same Mystery that suspended my Fall broke through in a whisper:

"Breathe~~~

Following the guidance, I felt in my hands the energy stir; and the dark cloud started to lift. Still delirious, I breathed in again, more deeply, and again, and again, and the flow returned, rousing fainthearted feelings linked to my nightmare. I startled, a moment. But the sky within had cleared, for I had yielded to The Voice and to a deeper sense of self and to the blocked feelings of scarcely a moment ago, which feelings arose and stopped before me as if they had something more to say. Armed with the light, and the breath-of-life, we began to unfold their message.

~~~Dreams, our desires, our visions of the future, put us in a place far in advance of where we are now, a place where we see our life and ourselves as better than we are now. But to become the dream, the desire, or goal, and be that better being, we must often change our ways, our behavior and our actions, lest we differ from our own design, our self-creation—the better person, the higher life we desire. In a roundabout way then (The Wheel?), we direct our lesser-nature, fear, pain, disharmonies—you know what I mean, you know what they are, parts of ourselves—to the surface of mind so that we can review and refine them: in effect, changing our attitudes so that we can truly merit the purer position in the dream. And yet we often find it difficult to allow the flow—the One and only Flow—which brings the pain needing release to the surface of Self—the order of our own desire, you see?—finding it so much easier, or more to our liking, to block the feeling rather than feel the pain. We don't like it, we block it! And the grave undoing, the downfall, is that eventually we block all movement coming from that direction: our own self-created, self-directed direction taking us to higher life~~~