The Seventh Direction

PART TWO: Inner Space. Episode 20

[Wyl narrates —A.A.]

The ball of light was really moving now, upward towards another center of my being. I opened my eyes to peak out. Realizing my position was at the base of the old oak tree outback the house, I let go and closed them once more, gathering in this memory and feeling (a tangible memory!) and adding them to me; and the energy, rising, led me back through my meditation, back to my place. Idle thought, and images, a cold, cold atmosphere briefly................and I found myself roaming, down in Valley Forest. I walked it awhile. I let my thoughts run free.

Wandering the forest was good for my soul (I wonder if Pa knew that?)—I needed these frequent walks through the beauty and freedom (found right here in nature, right Pa?) to allow my mind to wander free from the stresses of everyday living. Mmm. But I kept hearing in my head, "When are you gonna see the light, boy?" Words of Pa (the world according to Pa): one of his pet sayings, and he used it all the time, when I didn't see things his way.

Overcome by nature, I walked on. Walking through life on one's own, UNIQUE path is truly the one and only way. I knew that. And now along with faith I had some understanding. More: I knew that the light Pa was always talking about was within me! The center of all that I am. By turning in and communicating with this part of Self, I was beginning to see it grow. That tiny light-at-the-end-of-the-tunnel lives inside me! I could feel and sense it there. Sometimes it speaks to me.

I came to a sudden stop and peered into a thickset of bushes, the opening to a hideaway, camouflaged and barely visible from where I stood. I stepped back, a step forward, and to both sides. Each time the den becoming lost to view. I moved back to center and looked again, half-expecting someone or something to be there. Nothing. So I walked on, pondering for a moment the mysterious inclination that had stopped me where it had, when, another moment requiring observation appeared. I scratched my head (hmm) and stopped again, at a familiar overgrown-trail which conspicuously intersected my path, and wondered about this crossroads I was at.

I listened:

~~~Here we stand at the end of a 'cord of light,' the only true path being our connection to it and our expression of this Light forward~~~

Sounded true, but before I'd thought to think (as if on some sub-conscious level, part of the old ballgame was for me to play Devil's Advocate) I countered with: But there's the negative in life, the dark and denser force, and its illusion that keeps crossing me up! I stayed put at the crossroads.

~~~When working to create that which one has in mind, the form of that which he proposes to mold anew is not yet. It is YET breaking away from the old, the past . . . thus, conflict occurs. The past only knows what it knows, and finds its comfort there. It does not seek to leave its comfort. But we being creative, want to re-create the past into something more useful, more up to date, more advanced, evolved, growth~~~

Change IS (I felt inspired): One needs to grow. As I attract light (as I was now) it guides me, so also do I attract the darker, unrefined energies, locked in the past, seeking to evolve. So these, then—the darker-forces especially?—are the forces with which I must now learn to deal?

No immediate answer. I listened. No immediate clue.

Many times I'd been swept along by the darker forces, unawares: the "cord" severed and the ball of light gone. And it seems to me now (in those dark times, then) that until I came to realize I had wandered from the path, and until I restored my eyes to the light and listened, the "cord" would remain severed and I would remain cut-off. Cut off! (Man, it choked me to think about it!) Too, till I gained further insight from the light, Pa and his ways, I think so, would still rule over me.