The Seventh Direction

PART THREE: Stalking Violet. Episode 36

                       [Old Dorothy narrates —A.A.]

Little did she know. "All right," I said, "but only if you put that damn stone away!" She laughed, put it in her pocket, sat up straight, bulged her eyes, and began swaying her body side to side. (Character!) I started in again, with the idea in mind of our and Man's backward knowledge and thinking, hoping to bring it forward into a new or updated version. I thought to look away from Aces' too-bright shining eyes. But didn't.

"Most everyone feels all kinds of desire. You and me too, love. But desires often ask that we clean up our act. 'Clean it up, girl!' However, we have this ability, and we often use this ability, to stop feeling when something new or foreign or past-hurtful appears in our life to help us clean it up . . . which can then result in a missed opportunity crucial to attaining our desire. So easily we shut down or put up resistance. The new, the foreign, or the past-hurtful, doesn't fit our comfort zone. We don't like it, we don't let it in! You said so yourself, Aces: 'Don't you be coming round here!' But typically it's a subconscious thing . . . in fact, the boundaries are already pretty much drawn; and because of this, we repeatedly, unknowingly, block the stuff that we don't like! How often we're in shutdown-mode. Not open. Not vulnerable. Also—but of course we are all human beings, each with our own unique boundaries—and you'll have to trust me on this one: the fact that we all have boundaries makes for one awfully large and difficult mass-conscious boundary for us to overcome. But for the most part, personal-boundaries tend to bind up our hearts—typically without our knowledge, right?—because typically they are controlled, even ruled, by our subconscious mind. So beware, girl. But beware also the mass-subconscious. It THINKS it rules world-wide!"

Aces smile was gone again. She was as gifted as anyone I know (here on the physical plane) at forward knowledge and thinking . . . at accessing her potential . . . at looking through her light, at will. But due to her past and the damage done (the damage done THEN), so the consequential illusion (or the darker stuff in her conscious- and subconscious-mind) is hard for her to look at now. Same as me. Same as everyone, mostly! She's close though—a pinched thumb and finger away from realizing that with a little more education, knowledge, understanding, enlightenment, she could free-willingly bring back through the light, the light needed to shatter the illusion. But first she would have to discover that there WAS illusion in play, and then have the balls to look at it. 'Just bring the light back through the light, love!' Clearly she can access the light (she already has!), and then shabam. Shabam! Aces, God love her. If I could get Aces to feel her damaged feelings (she had no problem with the good ones) (and I'm repeating myself again, aren't I?), then that would amount to the same thing. Shabam—illusion shattered. (Shabam?)

Now . . . If only I could get myself to look at my damaged feelings!

"You know, Aces, the mass-subconscious? That's where a lot of our conditioning comes from. At least mine did. Remember the toddler? You the toddler? Me the toddler? The majority of mankind the toddler? And what the toddler was taught? Or not taught, but told? Where did the toddler's guidance come from? Not from his heart, nor his embryonic mind. Not from anyone's heart nor right-thinking mind. And we know Man's-world can get pretty screwed-up at times, don't we? And so, I think so, the toddler must've got a hand-me-down misdirection and lost an I-don't-know-how-big a chunk of his innocence. . . ."

"I can relate," she said.

"We all can," I said.

"So what do we do now?"

"Learning to trust our feelings again, might be key," I recapped.

"But," she hesitated, trying to wrap her a head around something, "how does the teen-age or the grown-up toddler trust within himself what he thinks made him do wrong things?"