The Seventh Direction

PART THREE: Stalking Violet. Chapter 6 (part 2)

                                                     ..........................

I awoke a little while later. And the atmosphere now? Through the window a lacklustre radiance, in the form of a misshapen square, cast dimly upon the floor and on part of the wall, told me it was well past noon. Atmosphere: low pressure system, still overcast, still heavy, still gloomy out there on the outside. Even so, I felt a little bit better.

And (thank God) Alaya's here with me this time through. (I feel her lurking.) Yet the fact that I'd now ANOTHER slept-through episode in Dreamtime? This rested strange with me. That's twice slept through! Two times now! With nary an inkling! Still, I felt grateful. And why wouldn't I? Yes, even though a certain shrouded solidness still lingered (some dense physical propinquity hovering round this young lurking body of Alaya, as Dorothy's childhood memories begin to stir and unwind, appearing to bolster my sentiments)—still, I felt grateful now that I'd worked things out some. And thank God Alaya is here with me this time through, somewhat. (Did I already say that?) I breathed deeply. And again and again, in attempts to bring her fully to life:

'. . . this is fair warning of the work that lay ahead; be ceaseless and discover all that you are along the way.'

Each breath reached deeper, vibrant through center, as consciously I drew back in and recalled the wisdoms of Master J'—his words about dreams, and his words about knowledge impregnated into one's being during Dreamtime and how that knowledge would filter through into consciousness in its own due time. Something, I think so, had amassed during "noon-sleep" that would soon enough break through to my waking world. Dorothy, midmorning, had broken through Alaya! Would she try it again? Doe. Would she try again to lead the funeral parade? I think not . . . no, but I could just see us standing there, all three, reading our own eulogy! Ha! But I shouldn't look there for too too long. So I removed my attention and cancelled that image (an image in mind, according to Tree, can be very powerful). No, I likely misread something. Not our eulogy! We were all three likely having a Powwow when something or other crossed my mind and tainted the image, I think so, and infected my imagination. (Reading our own eulogy.) (Yikes!) And, well—

'—there still remains Dorothy's fear and sadness!'

True. Absolutely. There are still those tainted remains of fear and sadness. But what fear where? And what sadness? And what am I to do now? I do still feel a strange but not-so strange identification with Dorothy's decaying/growing process . . . still determining its completion, still shaping her process, my process. Our process! I do! Oh, I DO! I feel anxious, I feel ill at ease. I feel . . . something still needs to be raised up, doesn't it? Something fearfully hidden? Sadly hidden? A memory or two? Her innocence? My innocence?

Fire, and its implication "know it well . . . " retuned to mind. But what am I to do?

I knew, as Master J' had said, that I was growing stronger and coming nearer to fullness within my new reality, and that there'd be work for me to do here before reaching there. But here is such a dense feeling. I feel weighed down here (I do! Dense and blind at some level!) as this dense feeling—lingering, I think so, due to the fact I've had some sleep that could be weighed normal from a third-dimensional perspective—hangs over me. Blind sleep? Really? At this stage of my awakening? And blind dreaming, too? I haven't felt quite like this since losing my speech, or the power behind it. I wonder.

Is this a do-over? Have I slipped back? Have I lost power? No, I'm building power! I'm trying to! But what have I left behind? What power? And what to do now? What to do now?(I've got to stop saying that!) What do I need to recover? Or rediscover? Or create? Or co-create? Soon? Or sooner? I will need all my power, won't I? Even that power cloaked within unrealized portions of Dreamtime/Sleeptime? All my power to create more fully my new reality? To create more fully my new self? To continue to create or co-create more fully both my new reality and my new self? At the same time? Synchronously? (Well, geez Louise, that's how it seems to be working so far!) And this dense feeling that keeps gnawing?