Red lights

bad dream

Felix.

as i was packing to leave the practice room bang chan came up behind me.
Bang Chan: "is everything okay Felix? you kept losing focus during practice today"
me: "i'm okay, just barely slept last night, had a bad dream"
as i finished my sentence Hyunjin rushed into the room.
he looks extremely tired, i can tell he'd been running because of how sweaty his forehead is, god, how is he still so dashing.
he looks around the room, hunched in front of the door, panting his eyes out, his eyes fall on me and i can see his adams apple drop inwards as he shakingly gulps, he quickly looks at Bang Chan.
Hyunjin: "did i miss practice?" still panting
Bang Chan: "yup. Felix" bang chan looks in my direction.
oh no.
Bang Chan: "i have somewhere to go, so here's the notes, teach hyunjin the new tweaks we did, this will be your punishment for not sleeping well" bang chan points at me as he leaves the room.
this is punishment. period.
staying up to contemplate about what to do about hyunjin backfired very badly.

Hyunjin.

welp. this isn't going to help.
one on one time with Felix? my heart is screaming in excitement but my head makes me want to curl into a ball and die.
my self-harming thoughts are cut off by Felix waving his hand in front of my face.
Felix: "you good?" he says while tilting his head
me: "yeah. yeah just had a bad dream last night" i shake my head, avoiding eye contact.
Felix: "huh. me too" he rubs his neck. god it's like he knows what gets to me.
Felix: "so, should we start?" he says while leaning to turn the music on.

Felix.

why me. why me. why me.
i hope he couldnt tell how shaky my hands were when i pressed the play button. why am i so nervous. again i'm so sure he was going to prank me, i cant keep acting like this.
Hyunjin: "oh i've practiced this song before"
me: "oh really? when?"
Hyunjin: "a while ago, someone wanted me to learn it" Hyunjin scoffs and looks at the floor, he catches himself and looks at me, almost as if he thinks im going to eat him alive, which, right now, i really want to.

Hyunjin.

why did i say that...
and why does he look...almost...
before i could even continue my thought, Felix had already started with the choreo, i try to keep up with him but he's going too fast, he turns around and looks straight into my eyes
Felix: "watch." he says in the most passive way possible, i cant help but gulp.
his eyes never left mine once, he didn't even try to pay attention to how im dancing, his eyes were grazed into mine, as if he's studying me from the inside out, he seemed to get all the parts on beat without blinking once.
at this point my sweat is rolling down my neck, why is he being like this?
me: *panting* "....Felix...." i say while im dancing.
Felix's eyes are still grained into mine.
Felix: also panting "what?....you said you've practiced it before....why are you doing it so badly?"
Hyunjin: "....felix.....i cant keep going..." i whine. Felix's face breaks out of the cold exterior. he pauses the music and looks at me, his face drenched in sweat.
I drop to the floor, unable to handle the pressure in my knees.
Felix: "im sorry for being on edge, i barely slept last night" he says while looking back and forth at the wall and me, he had stared into my eyes long enough to grow shy of them.
Lee felix, if only you knew my eyes were made for you to stare into.