Red lights

Maxident

Felix

fuck i need a cigarette. i need a cigarette now.
i open the rooftop door and throw the bouquet aside, what was i even thinking? a bouquet? really felix? i shakingly light up the cigarette in my mouth, i kick the trash bag in front of me, trying as much as possible to hold my tears in, "OW FUCK" i kick what felt like bricks inside the bag, now that's a good last straw. i look towards the rooftop door as i sense someone coming in, speak of the devil.
i inhale a breath of smoke, tapping the anger away with my foot, he comes closer and it takes everything in me not to blow out "felix it wasn't what it-" hyunjin starts off, "i make one mistake hyunjin." i dont dare look at his face, "on- one mistake?" he repeats, "being shamed of me is one little tiny mistake?!" his voice starts getting louder, "-you have NO RIGHT TO SAY anything." i make the mistake of looking him in the eyes, terror washes over his pupils and he steps back, "felix-" he says, his voice shudders, "you think i care about what other people think hyunjin?" i sniffle, "y- you-" he tries to argue back, "hyunjin i told my family about you." i close my eyes, i hear hyunjin choke up, "you- you- y- whe- when" he stutters, "when i disappeared, after the night at the practice room. i went to stay with them-" i take out another cigarette, "oh my-" he covers his face with his hands and leans against the wall "-i realized that day that my feelings are there and i knew that they wouldn't be going anywhere for a long time" i pause, taking the cold wind in "hyunjin i'm not scared to get kicked..out....i'm scared to lose you." i look down as i feel my tears slowly creep in, "you won't lose me felix" hyunjin approaches me and grabs my hand, a light shines on his face, unveiling streaks of tears on his red cheeks. "how do you know hyunjin?" i let go of his hand, "i almost did from that bullying scandal i cant let you put yourself at risk again" i take out another cigarette "w-whar if your parents find out and then- they" i start rambling, he comes up closer and puts his finger on my lips "i don't care about what they think, i used to, but i dont anymore, after i met you" i move away from him "b-but i know how you get when you love something hyunjin" i inhale a long breath of smoke "you love passionately, fully. but then you suddenly let go... and so i thought "what if that happens? what if he ends up putting himself at risk for nothing." hyunjin steps closer again "you think you're a mere "something" to me felix, you think i would confess my feelings to you thinking that this might be temporary? felix i've liked you since the day i've met you, god i even felt butterflies in my stomach the second i met you but i thought i was just hungry, the constant jealousy, not wanting anyone to touch you but me, i've liked you this whole time, i just wasn't aware of it. I can't and i won't lose you felix, and you will not lose me either. i will not let that happen, no matter what it takes" he whimpers, i sigh defeatedly, "i already lost you in that room hyunjin." i whimper, pointing to the room where i found him, "felix trust me when i say that even if i wanted to kiss someone i couldn't because you're a.l.w.a.y.s. CONSTANTLY the ONLY thing on. my. mind." his face is inches away from mine, i can almost taste the cranberry vodka, "y-" i start getting flustered as hyunjin inches his body closer, i cant help but lean on the wall to secure my balance as my legs start to shake, he grabs the cigarette from my hand and puts it out on the wall next to my head, he licks his lips, my throat suddenly dries out, i suddenly became thirsty for the taste of his lips, he leans his arm over my head, maintaining eye contact with every step he takes, "felix when are you going to the skip to the part where you tell me to kiss you again?" my knees suddenly bend and i have to catch myself from my falling on the floor, "hm?" he tilts his head, slowly closing the space between our lips.

Hyunjin

He suddenly grabs my shirt, turning me around and slamming me to the wall, our lips collide and i feel my soul travel back into my body, i forgot about what we were even fighting about, all i knew is that i wanted him, every inch, every part of him, here and now, i want to spend the good, the bad, the happy, the sad, i want to spend each of my breathing moments with him. i start unbuckling his belt but he grabs my hand "not here" he grunts into my lips, "let's go" i nod and follow his lead, he grabs what looks to be an empty bouquet next to the door way "i- uh- got this-haha" he starts getting flustered, i stare into the empty bouquet "thank you, they're my favorite" i giggle and he rolls his eyes. we speed through the hallway, "uh wait i forgot to do something" felix says as soon as we leave the apartment, "just wait here" he goes in.
all of a sudden i hear shouting from inside and i barge in, following the sound of the crowd, and i see felix standing over the guy who kissed me, and he looks gone, felix looks like he wasn't hit once. Felix throws another punch and even though i wasn't close, i could see that his knuckles were bleeding, "yo we'll take care of it" changbin rolls up his sleeve and the rest come in, and without even questioning, they grab the guy and drag him to a room, "YOURE GOING TO REGRET THIS" i hear the guy laughing, felix turns around and bumps into me, "didnt i tell you to wait outside?" he grabs a vodka shot from someone's hand and drinks it, splashing the rest on his bleeding knuckles, "you have no idea how bad i want to kiss you right now" i say, felix scoffs "trust me we're gonna do way more than kiss" he grabs my arm and we run out.