Red lights

indigo

Felix

his breathing is shaky, i close my eyes and grab his hand on my face, squeezing it tight, i begin to tremble as i sense him coming closer, our lips brush against each other, as i open my eyes, tears begin to fall down my cheeks, "i cant do this anymore hyunjin" i cry out, gettinf up and turning away from him, "hyunjin i'm doing this....for your sake...for our sake." i turn around to face him as he gets up, "for the sake of our future." my voice cracks, hyunjin comes closer to me, "YOU are my future felix" he clenches his teeth, "my future is waking up next to you, my future is running stupid errands with you, my future- my future is meeting your family." he comes closer and holds my face in his hands, i rest my head on his chest, latching onto his jacket, i pound my hand on his chest, "please...stop" i cry out, he makes me look up at him, "if you care for me please let me go" i stare up at him, he gently wipes my tears and kisses my forehead, "i lo-" he's interrupted by my phone ringing.

Hyunjin

he goes over to his bag and rustles through it, as he takes out his phone, he takes out what looks to be a rain jacket, he had one this whole time..."yes. yes okay, alright, see you." he answers his phone. "it's the dance coach, he said we can leave now." he says as he packs his bag and walks past me, his eyes glued to the floor. i grab his arm as he tries to leave, "felix-" he flinches away from my grip, "we need to get some rest, we're flying tomorrow." he says before he opens the door and leaves.

I turn the tv on and grab my ice cream bowl, even though my life has been looking a lot like a kdrama lately, i decide to watch one. As i cry into my ice cream, i hear a knock on my door, i quickly turn off the sappy kdrama and wipe my sappy tears away, getting up to open the door. "got you your favorite takeout!" han says as soon as i open the door, "thanks han but it's pretty late...our flight is tomorrow we should get some rest-" i scratch my head as he comes in, "i-" han sets the food down on the table, "oh that smells amazing-" i find myself reaching for the bag "-hyunjin i need to talk to you about something." he seems shaky, i nod as i stuff my mouth with food, he sits down, his eyes pace around the room nonstop, he clears his throat "-i" he takes a deep breath. "i- know about you and felix." he blurts out and turns away. I suddenly find myself choking on my food, "even though i shouldn't be telling you..." he continues as i keep choking, barely catching my breath, "...i realize that i should be honest with you..." i tap on the table, unable to take it anymore, "i know...i know you're mad that i didn't tell you.." his face is still turned away, i start kicking him as hard as i can as i tug on my collar, "ok i know you're mad but this is a bit too- OH MY GOD" he finally turns to my direction.

I chug my third cup of water, "how did you find out?" i ask, he looks down. "i'm guessing it wasn't in a good way" i sigh out, "look. I don't know what's happening between you guys but i have a feeling it's bad." he turns to me "and i also have a feeling that neither of you wanted to end up like this-" he utters, "-han... he broke up with me, i'm pretty sure he wanted this-" i roll my eyes "-neither of you, hyunjin." he cuts me off "his eyes follow you wherever you go hyunjin, whenever you're dancing, laughing, smiling...it's obvious that he's admiring you, he just hides it with his tough exterior. whenever you're being all clumsy, his body tenses up as if he's trying his best to not put his hand out for you...whenever you're being touchy with anyone...don't get me started on the award show day..." he continues and i look away, trying to process what he's saying, he picks up his chopsticks "it just doesn't seem like he wants to do this...it seems...almost..." he pulls his chopsticks apart "forced." we say at the same time, "you felt it?" he asks, surprised. "yeah...i just cant grasp on a reason why he would do this." i bite my nails, "i think i have one, but i need you to trust me on this" his eyes practically pop out of their place, "and we might need some help."