Red lights

him and i

Hyunjin

I've been avoiding felix for a couple of days now, i dont know if i can ever forgive him, or if i ever will, all i know is that i dont want to talk to him or see him...
"um it's your turn" he says, passing by me.
If only we weren't in the same band.

"are you guys going to that party everyone is talking about" seungmin asks as he comes into the room,
"keep that pose" the photographer tells me as he takes my pictures, he comes up to show me the pictures, "you're a natural" he says, and i feel felix rolling his eyes.
"i think we're all gonna go to the party, right guys?" bang chan asks as he goes up to ruffle seungmin's hair.
"i'm probably not gonna go, i have a show to catch up on" changbin replies.
Felix and i accidentally make eye contact and his face instantly turns red"uh- actually me too...show- something- to catch up...on" felix says as he gets up and starts pacing around.
what does he have going on? is he busy leading on another guy? I almost spoke out loud.
"i'll go" i say as i get off the chair, "i could use a party" i say, grabbing an apple on my way out.

Felix

I pace around the room, i check the time, 9pm, the party probably started by now, is he actually going to go? i rub my temples, i should go i start heading for the door, or should i? i pause at the door, i play with my keys, contemplating what i should do.
fuck it. i'm low on alcohol anyways.

I pass by the supermarket on the way to get a few things, i enter to find Lee know rummaging through the candy section, "lee know!" i call out for him, "ah yongbok!" lee know gets up, dropping bags of candy from his sudden movement, "i was hoping i'd bump into you" i say as i come up to him, my nerves slowly creeping in. "what for?" Lee know nervously shuffles, i start walking towards the fruit isle, "uhm....well.." i pick up a red apple, tossing it in the air, everything reminds me of him i think to myself, "okay mister grin-y guy" lee know interrupts my thoughts, and snatches the apple midair. i shake the grin off my face, "help me" i sigh out, looking pleadingly into lee know's eyes, "felix" lee know sighs as he tosses the apple, "when you meet someone that doesn't let your mind spare a minute without thinking of them, you know you can't let them go" lee know comes closer "look. i've felt the same way you're feeling before, i was ashamed and scared, and i let it be that way for too long, which is exactly why it ended" he looks down "i'm not going to make decisions for you felix, but i don't want you to have the same regret as me. you can't expect love without a little risk" he puts his hand on my shoulder "i'll always be by your side yongbok" he ruffles my hair "thank you hyung" i say and he smiles back "alright sleep is creeping up on me so i'm gonna go, take care okay?" lee know says, i smile as i watch him walk away, i pick up the apple again and look at it "you can't expect love without a little risk" i repeat to myself, and without even realizing "l- lee know!" i look up to call out his name, he stops in his tracks and looks back. i close my eyes "i'll- i'll see you tomorrow." i announce, "see you buddy" his grin widens as he nods my way, worry washing away from his face.

Hyunjin

God i drank too much. I get up from the bathroom floor, uncontrollably swaying towards the door handle, unable to see straight, i open the door and head for the nearest couch, i lay down, closing my eyes, hoping to doze off for a bit, when all of a sudden "hey" i hear a whisper, i try to make up who it is but all i see is blurred lines, "uh hi?" i say back, lifting my head, he scoffs "sorry to disturb you, i'm a staff here" i guess he could tell that i couldn't tell who he was, "may i sit?" he points where my legs are covering the couch, i instantly move them and scooch "a huge fan by the way" he says after what felt like a few hours of awkward silence, i don't feel so good, "you know i- we- should probably get back to the party-" i say as i get up, but his hand suddenly grips my thigh, forcing me to sit back down, "come on hyunjin i know you're like that" i stare blankly at his grip on my thigh, now that he's closer, i can smell the alcohol reeking his mouth, "l-like what?" was the only thing that came out of my mouth, and in a split second, his lips were on mine, it takes a while for my brain to register what just happened, i push his face away as my body unfreezes, i look towards the hallway to make my escape and i watch as felix stomps away, rose after another falling from the bouquet he is tightly gripping.