Red lights

Checkmate

Hyunjin

I light up a cigarette, the cold, breezy air in my balcony helps me concentrate, and the cigarette? well also to help me concentrate.
i rub my temples, trying to calm my breathing down.
out of everyone i know and i've hooked up with, felix was the last person that i thought would lead me on, why did he say "i've been wanting to do this ever since i laid my eyes on you" ??? i take a puff of my cigarette, ugh even cigarettes remind me of him, i press the cigarette bud on my painting, wiping the paint with the ashes, that didn't do much i grab the canvas and throw it through the balcony door, inside my room.
"OW!!" i hear a shout from the inside.
I run inside to see who it came from, i see the silhouette of felix's body laying down on my bed, covering his head with his hands.
"FELIX ARE YOU OKAY?" I shout as i start slapping the sides of his head, freaking out over what to do.
"h- hyunjin.... HYUNJIN STOP IM FINE" he grabs my wrists, "the canvas just hit the side of my head i'm fine" he says, his elbow supporting his weight on the bed. "Listen" he gets up and adjusts himself to directly face me:
"i stayed at my friend's dorm for a few days, i needed to think about what happened..." he looks down, biting the side of his lip, he looks up again "hyunjin i don't think we should..." he sighs "...we can't..." he rubs his neck, his face started to grimace.
"I know. I got the hint at the studio, you didn't have to tell me again" i latch onto the side of the bed, putting all my anger out on the gripping of my bed.
"hyunjin you dont have to-" his expression becomes annoyed, which makes me become aggravated.
"...yes i DO felix, i have the right to feel however i want, if you knew you'd feel that way why didn't you stop me-" at this point i'm standing over him "-I DIDNT KNOW HYUNJIN ALL I KNEW IS THAT I DIDNT WANT TO STOP" he gets up, his face inches away from mine, our chests touching from how hard we're both breathing.
our eyes were bleeding into one another, until i notice that his is starting to soften, although i'm angry at him, i just want to hold his face and caress his cheeks with my fingers. he suddenly turns to walk away, he turns around, but this time he's looking at the floor, he purses his lips as he sniffles.
"felix.." i stutter out, but before he could even hear me he had already left the room, i am once again on my bed, questioning god on why he made me this way.

Felix

seriously? this is what i do when my crush for eternity makes a move? i push him away??? I rub my forehead, if i was alone i'd be smacking my head right now but i decided to go to a party held at one of the penthouses to blow off some steam, i inhale the smoke into my lungs, that burn in my throat always seems to calm me down. i look to my left to find two people making out on the kitchen counter....yuck. i suddenly get flashbacks of my night with hyunjin and i feel myself beginning to smirk as i take a sip of my drink, HEY SNAP OUT OF IT, i shake my head, fuck my face are boiling i touch, i keep my head down and walk to the bathroom, when all of a sudden..
"OW watch where you're- oh hey..." i bump into hyunjin, he looks at me, clenches his jaw, and leaves without a word.
what the fuck? i know what happened between us was hurtful but he can't even say hey back?
i turn around and go straight for the drinks, i watch him as he laughs and smiles with other people, god my stomach hurts, i look over as i take a shot and watch as hyunjin sits down on the couch next to someone and rest his thigh on his, he strokes his hair as he laughs and the other guy reciprocates the skinship.
"yo felix- woah why are you gripping your cup so hard you have vodka all over your hands" I.N starts wiping my hands.
"i'm good i'm good" i tell I.N and head for the bathroom.
ugh god i shouldn't have drank this much-
"for the love of god will i stop bumping into- OH WOOYOUNG!"