I Know You Were Made For Me

Chapter 30: Not Worthy.

Friday morning rolled around and Luna was currently stood outside Matt's apartment door, her hands holding the white envelope with his name on shaking like a leaf. She knew Matt still wouldn't be ready to see her and she also knew he'd just slam the door in her face. She knew she deserved that reaction though. She bent down and tucked the envelope under the welcome mat before knocking and quickly leaving before she was caught there.

Matt was in the kitchen making breakfast when he heard a knock on the door. He walked over and opened the door seeing no one there. He glanced around the hallway seeing no sign of life and he was just about to shut his door and put it down to some kids in his building when he glanced down and noticed the white envelope tucked under the mat.

He bent down picking it up before heading back in to the kitchen. As he had a proper look at the envelope his breath caught in his throat when he recognised her hand writing.

Taking a deep breath he opened the envelope, his nerves taking over him as he pondered on what could be inside. He pulled out the contents and he realised she'd written him a letter. Part of him wanted to just rip it up and throw it away, but the other part, the part that still loved her, wanted to know what she had to say.

Matt,

I know this is a cowards way out, writing you a letter, but I know that right now there's no way you would want to see me and there's somethings I really need to say. First, I need you to know that everything I ever felt for you it was all real. I know you probably don't believe me but it's true, I really care about you Matt, I always have and I always will. It fucking kills me that I couldn't love you the way you deserve. What I did I never did it to hurt you, that's not me; in any ordinary circumstance I would never do that to anybody, let alone you. You showed me what it feels like for someone to truly love and care about you, after all of the shit I've been through I didn't think that was possible. I realise now that I didn't deserve your love. But Chris does. I can't be the reason you two loose that friendship. I want you to know that I'm not going to be a problem anymore. I know it may take you a while, but I really want you to try and repair this with him. I know I have no right to ask you for anything, but I know you love Chris and he loves you and you need each other. I know that one day you're gonna find a girl that will repair all the damage I caused and she will love you the way you deserve. Thank you for everything.

Luna.

Matt reached up to wipe away a tear he didn't even know had fallen. He leant on his hands against the counter top, hanging his head low. Despite everything they did to him, he couldn't help it he still loved them both. He knew Luna was right, he couldn't throw his friendship with Chris away. Right now he wasn't ready and he had to hate him. But one day he hopes he can bring himself to forgive his friend.

~~~~~

Chris has been sat staring at the clock in his kitchen all day. A car was coming to pick him up for the airport in five hours and he still hadn't heard anything from Luna. She never replied to his text on her birthday, he'd tried calling and texting again since but nothing. He just wanted to talk to her before he left, he needed to know where he stood with her.

He jumped to his feet, deciding he had to go over there before he left. He had to see her. Before he could leave the kitchen he heard a knock at his door. Quickly he made his way to the door, hoping that on the other side was his Luna.

He flung the door open to see nobody standing there. Then he saw her. She was rushing to climb back in to her car. He ran down the steps towards her, shouting for her to stop. She managed to turn on the engine just as he reached the car. She sped off before he had a chance to grab the door handle.