Breaking Out // Gahmi

Twenty-Two

Gahyeon PoV

In case I didn't already feel like absolute shit before, I did now. More so I felt disgusted by myself and what I'd done. When exactly did I become a person that tolerates this? Torturing other humans for my own well being, playing with their emotions like toys in a sand box? If only I had another choice than to put up with Handong and her ways. But alas I didn't. Not really.

Instead I had to sit through this whole day and act on every little command Handong gave me. And, of course, like the minion I am, I followed all of them. I had to torment person after person. I was mean, degrading and disregardful all day, while Handong watched everything over my shoulder, her wicked smile never leaving her face.

It hurt to watch all these people suffer from my doings and my words. It may have been Handongs orders, but I was the one executing them. I was the one actually doing it to all these innocent students. I was the one calling them names that just a few months ago I was being called. Once I was in their place, so I know how much those little words can sting. Oh, how the turn tables ... Though I'm not sure on what side I'm rather on. The pain of those names was still present in my head and god forbid, nobody deserved that suffering.

It hurt that I had to put up with Yeontae all day, acting all lovey dovey. It literally sucked all the energy out of my soul that I had left. That dude was so freaking annoying. But I guess we did our job well, since everybody kept gushing and hushing about the new power couple of the school. #goals Yuck. Ugh, as if.

But most of all it hurt to do this to Dami. That really did tear my heart apart, the disappointment and pain in her eyes. It made my heart sink deeper than the titanic. I couldn't blame her for storming out like that. I know it hurt her a lot, must have, which made that heavy feeling in my chest even worse. She was nothing but nice to me. Even when I was behaving like a dick before, she was still patient and kind. And I really thought we had a moment yesterday, a connection.

Fuck. I can't believe I just ruined that.

I heard a gentle knock at the door of the changing room I was currently hiding in. It wasn't my first choice, but at this time of the day it was oddly quiet here. All of the school sport teams were currently training, so it was empty. The perfect place to hide from everyone, except for the walls of the small stall that seemed to tighten in.

I just hoped it wasn't Handong that came looking for me. It was hard enough to shake her off in the first place. The whole day she has been helicoptering me, never leaving my side, even in the classes we didn't share. Fuck eductaion, am I right. It made it pretty impossible for me to talk to Dami again to explain and apologize. Not that I think she would talk to me right now. Still I would have liked to be able to send her a text or get a hold of her, even if she wouldn't listen. I need her to know that I was sorry and I didn't want to do that. BUt I guess I can kiss that goodbye.

I couldn't shake off Yeontae all day either. It was annoying to say the least.

"Gahyeon?" Instead it was Jius soft voice that broke the silence.

"Hmm." I just hummed. I wasn't in the mood to interact with people right now.

"Open the door please." she tried again. At least she was probably the only person that I genuinely didn't want to shut out. So I unlocked the door and let her open it by herself. She stepped in slowly, before closing the door once again behind her. Then she leaned against the wall beside me, softly taking my fingers away from my mouth, effectively stopping my chewing on them, and took them in her own warm hands.

"Are you okay?" her eyes trailed over my face from the side, examining it for any hint of bottled up emotion. I'm sure she found plenty.

"Ha." I snorted and forced a smile on my face, even though I felt like crying.