Willow // Tywin Lannister (1)

15. What mothers Do

'How many Dornish men does it take to fuck a goat?' Bronn said and Tyrion let out a huff of a breath. This was turning out to be a long morning.

'Please don't.' Tyrion begged, Bronn sat down by a tree leaning against it, bored out of his mind and much to sober for this.

'it seems to me a smart place to meet travelers is in a tavern that way one parties late the other party can drink some ale inside.' Bronn remarked.

'It is the prince of Dorne we are waiting for.' Tyrion reminded him 'not to sell sword friend.'

'If he's so damn important why did they send you to meet him?' Bronn questioned.

''There is bad blood between the Martell's of Dorne and the Lannister's of Castlery rock for years.' Tyrion told them.

'And just in case the Martell's of Dorne spill some Lannister blood it might as well be yours?' Bronn suggested.

''I also happen to be a skilled diplomat.' Tyrion reminded him

'Oh.' Bronn said taking another drink

'Here we are.' Tyrion said noting the horses coming up the trail 'can you read the sigils?' Bronn looked ahead. Tyrion Bronn and Podrick stood at attention as the dornish approached.

'yellow balls.' Bronn said squinting into the distance

'Lemon trees house thorn of lemon wood.' Podrick answered. 'A vulture grasping a baby in its talons house Blackmore.' Podrick said reading them off as they got closer 'crown and skull the leaders of King Gray.'

'The boy knows his Dornish houses.' Tyrion applauded

'I know the sigils.' Bronn said stiffly

''And House Martell a red sun pierced by a spear?' Tyrion questioned

'I don't see it my Lord.' Podrick told him.

'Well met my lords.' Tyrion said stepping forward 'your grace king Joffrey welcomes you in his name and my Lord Hand father sends his greeting as well I am Tyrion Lannister of casterly rock master of coin.' They just stared down at him.

'Forgive me.' Tyrion said looking them over 'I don't see Prince Doran in your company.'

'The princes ales have forced him to stay at Suns peak he sent Oberyn in his place to attend the royal wedding in his stead.'

'Yes the king would be delighted.' Tyrion said after a brief pause, 'to be in the company of a warrior such a renowned as prince Oberyn and his wedding feast.'

'Will he?' The Dornish man asked with a chuckle.

'Where is prince Oberyn?' Tyrion questioned.

'He arrived before dawn. He is not one for welcome parties our Prince.'

'Very well.' Tyrion said turning around, now he had to find a possibly murderous prince roaming kings landing 'these fine men from the city watch will escort you-' they started walking past him 'to the city watch you must be wary after such... A long journey.' Tyrion said

'Yes true diplomacy' Bronn added.

'Oberyn is known as the red viper.' Tyrion told him.

'So you're thinking trouble?' Bronn questioned

'What do you think?' Tyrion told him

'So where now?" Bronn questioned

'We will find Prince Oberyn before he kills someone.' Tyrion suggested.