Learning to Let Them In | Fourtris

Chapter 5

Tris POV

Today is my first day at Divergent High School. To be honest, I'm kind of nervous. What if it turns out like my old school? What if they find out who I am?! "NO Tris. They won't know who you are! Just get ready!" I think to myself.

We moved to Chicago about a week after I told Tori yes. We have a medium sized house. Not too big and not too small. I like it. It doesn't draw attention to us. Even better. The inside is really pretty with wood furnishing and carpeted hallways and rooms. I picked a medium-sized room with a window. The window only gets a view of another window to the house next door. It's not like I'm going to be looking out of it 24/7 either. So I really couldn't care much less.

My room was peach and white colored. Tori and I painted it over the summer. It is now black with blue and gray stripes towards the very front of my room by the door. I have to say...it looks pretty good, in my opinion. It's just like my "hair" now. Main color is black with highlights towards the front.

My room has a bed with a really comfy mattress. It has a black and gray comforter on top. The pillow cases are blue so everything matches!

It also has am adjoining bathroom. It's a nice bathroom. It has a shower, a sink, and a toilet. And cabinets above and under the sink. The shower curtain is black. The towels in there I are blue and gray. Once again, it matches.

Also...sitting in the corner of my room is the piano. I may not touch it much, but I need it in my room. It gives me memories that I am scared to forget. I had painted it black carefully, so I wouldn't get any on the carpet, on the keys, or on the inside of the piano. I was successful, but it took a months. Longer than it took to do my room! But it was worth it. It looks great.

I go into the bathroom and gaze at my reflection. When everything still looks good, I walk out and go lay down on my bed.

Last night I changed my appearance. My ugly blonde hair now is black with a gray and blue streaks toward the front of my hair. It doesn't look great either, but it's not the worst.

I didn't just pick random colors. Blue was Caleb's favorite color. Gray was Dad's favorite. And black was both Mom's and I's favorite color. That way I can carry a piece of them with me wherever I go.

I didn't put permanent dye in, just squirt dye, so it will wash out with water. Like, when I take a shower. I want to be myself sometimes. Just seeing myself once in the mirror before putting the dye in, is enough for me to grab onto the memories, right before they slip away again, like the black dye in the shower.

I decide its time to get out of bed and go to my closet and pick out my outfit. It ends up being black skinny jeans, a black tank top, a black sweatshirt, and black tennis shoes. I don't put on any make-up. I don't see the point. It won't make me look pretty, so why put it on?

I look into the mirror and I approve. I may look Goth to some people, but I'm really not. I'm just mourning. Not like anybody would understand anyways…well maybe except for Tori. She knows why I wear black. She approved of my hair before I dyed it. She knows why I did it too. She will be the only one who understands. Always has been, and always will.

Tori and I called the online school site I used to go on, and told them I wouldn't be on this year. They understood and took me off the site. I can't turn back now.

"Tris! Breakfast!" Tori yells from downstairs. Well, I better start heading down. I don't want to be late.

I head downstairs and smell pancakes and bacon. Tori looks at me and says, "Now, you don't get to leave until you eat at least 5 bites of your pancake and a all of your bacon. You WILL eat, missy." I look down at my plate and back up to her, a pleading look on my face. I can't eat that much! She sighs and says, "Fine 2 bites of bacon and 3 bites of pancake. But I'm not budging anymore, so you better start eating." I look at her thanking her with my eyes and eat what she told me to.