Learning to Let Them In | Fourtris

Chapter 26

Tris' POV

We're going to Haviland today. It scares me more than it probably should.

We're leaving in 3 hours. It's 6:00am right now, and I wish I could've gotten some sleep. I've been up since...well, since I first laid down. I haven't gotten any sleep tonight. I've been tossing and turning, occasionally closing my eyes, but never falling asleep. I can't shake the feeling that something is going to happen on this trip. I'm not sure whether it is good or bad, but then again, since when does this feeling ever mean something good? Especially for me.

My eyes feel like small 100 lb weights are on top of them, pushing them down. I close them for a minute, but Eric's face starts flying through my mind and a nervous shake passes through my body, just like every other time I've closed them. I finally tell myself to give up on sleep and get up.

I sit up and throw the covers off of me. Everyone is supposed to be here at around 8:30 that way we can load up the bags and eat breakfast before we go. It's Friday and we luckily have the day off of school so we don't have to worry about making up any homework for today. We will be gone for 4 days. The fair starts tomorrow and, like I said, it's huge so it'll take us 2-3 days to see everything. We will come back Tuesday afternoon. So we'll only miss 2 days of school.

We're scheduled to arrive at Haviland at around 1:00. But knowing my friends, it could definitely be sometime completely different. We're taking 2 cars because 1 won't be able to hold us all. We've already decided who's riding in what vehicle, and who's driving.

In the first vehicle, Tori is driving. Zeke and Shauna will be in the next row back, with Tobias and me in the very back row. In the second vehicle, Will will be driving, since he's the one least likely to be distracted and also because he's the most sensible one out of the rest of the people in that car. Christina is riding shotgun, with Uriah and Marlene in the row behind them. Then that leaves Lynn with the very back all to herself, which, needless to say, she was very happy about.

I get out of bed and get dressed in sweatpants with shorts underneath and a tank top. Ya, ya. I know what you're thinking. A tank top?! I wouldn't freak out too much about it though. I'm covering the cuts up. No one will know they were ever there, except for, of course, Tobias. I'm also throwing on a sweatshirt, so don't freak out at all actually.

I go into the bathroom and open the cabinet above. I take out the scar concealer, which Tori knows I have but only assumes it's for the scars from the wreck. I'm glad she doesn't think any more of it.

I expertly put it on and stare at my almost-plain-looking-but-not-quite-normal wrists. They look normal enough not to be looked at twice unless you actually knew there was something there. At least, I think they are.

My eyes close again, but Eric's voice is pulsing through my mind again. I see him throwing me around my old room, yelling at me, eventually getting me on the bed. I see him drag the knife down my stomach again and my eyes snap open. I lift my shirt up just enough to see the scar. I see the white, scraggly line covering my stomach and tears sting my eyes. How could I let him do this to me?

Because you're a weak coward. That's why.

I shake my head to rid me of my thoughts and quickly move on, putting on my necklace, brushing my hair, and throwing it in a low ponytail. I dyed my hair last night and it hasn't faded so I don't have to worry about that. I walk back out to my room and throw a sweatshirt on for now along with some fuzzy socks. I might as well be comfortable for the ride down there.

I go downstairs quietly, not wanting to wake up Tori. But as I get towards the last stairs, I hear her voice.

"Good morning, Tris!"