Learning to Let Them In | Fourtris

Chapter 10

Tris' POV

In and out. In and out. That's the way I am breathing. I've stopped sobbing my eyes out and now we just sit here, enjoying each other's presence. I'm still in Four's arms, and quite frankly, I don't want to move. Usually, I would be freaking out if someone hugged me like this (minus Tori of course), especially a guy. But with Four I feel…I don't know how to describe it…safe? Protected? Weightless? It's something like that, at least.

In and out. It's the first time in a long time that I have breathed normally, not heavy, not so quiet that you think I am not breathing, but just….normal. I can thank Four for that. But I still don't want to say anything, so I just tighten my arms around his stomach even more. I'm surprised I haven't constricted him yet.

I know that I shouldn't be too surprised…he's just too tough. He is tough and strong and hot and just doesn't deserve me in his life. I don't know why he hugged me in the first place. Then again…I don't know why I hesitated. Now, while I'm sitting against his chest, wrapped in his embrace, I am suddenly really glad I nodded my head yes.

My calf still burns in pain, but I don't care. I have felt much more pain than this. I will just let it be until we have to move. Cause I don't care right now. In fact, I don't care about anything. I wouldn't care if I died right here, right now, in Four's embrace. I would gladly slip away. But I know he wouldn't let me, even if I had the choice to do exactly that. So I just push the thought away and focus on his steady heartbeat.

I'm so comfortable, that I can feel my eyes slowly getting heavier and heavier. It is getting really hard to keep them open. I haven't gotten much sleep these past couple years. Right now would be a good time to fall asleep…but I need to stay awake. I don't know if Four would want that. I doubt he wants a stupid, injured little girl asleep on his shoulder.

Even with these thoughts in my head, my eyes keep closing and I have to keep opening them. It gets harder and harder each time. Suddenly Four's chest starts to vibrate. It startles me and I slightly jump. "Tris, it's okay. You can go to sleep. I'll wake you up when it's needed. It's alright." Four says. I give in to the weight above my eyelids and slowly fall asleep.

Four's POV

I can see Tris' eyelids drooping down, but then jolting open, again and again. She is tired…anyone could see that. She is fighting sleep right now, and I can see the dark purple bags underneath her eyes, signaling that she hasn't gotten much sleep lately. So I say, "Tris, it's okay. You can go to sleep. I'll wake you up when it's needed. It's alright." I think that is all she needed to hear, because not a minute later, she is asleep in my arms. I take this moment to look at her closely.

She looks so calm and beautiful when she's asleep. Like there is absolutely nothing that can hurt her in this world. I wish that this was true...but unfortunately, the rest of the world doesn't agree.

I look at her hair. It is wet from the Chasm; not soaking, just damp. I look closely and see something very intriguing. Her hair is blonde, but I also see some black, gray, and blue in her hair also. The black seems to be all over, while the blue and gray are only streaks. I wonder why I saw blonde hair instead of black when she was running off. I look at the back of her hair and see mostly blonde hair. And that would be why. I am very confused as to what color her natural hair really is. I know that one color has to be dyed in, but I can't tell which.

I have a feeling that she didn't want anyone to see her natural hair...probably to escape her past. It's just a guess, but it seems to make sense. I wish I knew what happened to her, but I can't ask. I may lose her trust. She may tell me someday if she still can trust me enough, and I don't want to jeopardize that.

I now look at her figure. She is skinny...very, VERY skinny. Too skinny to be healthy. She is like a stick figure...I know some girls would do this to gain attention, but I know that there is some other reason behind Tris' skinniness. I just slightly lift up her shirt and am still surprised when I can see her ribs sticking out from the rest of her body. I also see a couple of faint scars. This worries me...abuse comes through my mind again. I already ruled out abuse in my mind, but that was mostly out of hope that that wasn't what had happened, or is happening to her. It is horrible to think about, so I try to distract my mind by looking some more.