Learning to Let Them In | Fourtris

Chapter 14

Four/Tobias' POV

As I head upstairs, I think about what I almost just did. I almost kissed Tris! I can't believe I did that! I probably screwed our whole friendship up. Great going Tobias. I saw the way she tensed up before I did. Luckily I snapped to my senses and just kissed her on the forehead. I saw her relax after that. I knew she didn't like me back, so why did I try to kiss her? I am so stupid! I can just hope that I didn't completely screw up our friendship.

I let my thoughts wander over to earlier tonight. When I first went down to the dugout, I didn't expect anyone to be there, and apparently, neither did Tris. She looked…I hate to say it, but she looked vulnerable. I've never seen her like that before. She was pale, shaking, crying, and she looked like she was having a mental breakdown. She only snapped out of it when I kept talking to her. The first time I asked her if she was ok, she stopped for a moment, but then snapped right back into it. After a couple more tries, she finally took her shaking hands off of her head, and looked at me. Well, for a split second anyways. Was my voice the thing that snapped her awake? I like to think that it was.

I don't know what caused whatever that was to happen, but I don't like to think about it. When Tori said she's had a rough couple of years, is this what she meant? Or did she mean what caused that? I don't know. But I hope she is ok. I worry about her. When she started sobbing, I was surprised when she embraced me first. And when she put my hand back on her hair. I chuckle at the thought of that. She never would have done that if she was thinking straight.

I don't pity Tris. Not one bit. She is strong, and she doesn't need anyone to keep her strong. Although I would like to help her go through whatever it is she's scared of, I know it's up to Tris to make a decision like that.

I also think about when I told Tris she was cute. It saddens me to think that she doesn't think good thoughts about herself. She's beautiful, on the inside and out, and I can't believe she doesn't see that. She is unique, beautiful, strong, brave, independent, and so many other things. I wish she could see that. I know she doesn't believe me.I saw it in her eyes. But maybe one day she will see her for what she truly is. Maybe.

I finally reach my room and look out my window, secretly hoping to see a glance at Tris, but all I see are her closed drapes. I turn around and get dressed in my pajamas and hop into bed. I fall asleep, thinking about Tris.

I wait outside my house after school. I'm 13 years old and today I got into a fight with some kid. He made fun of my mom, which isn't even here anymore. So I went over and told him never to say that again, but he didn't listen. He made the first move. I never would've purposely started a fight; I don't want to be like Marcus. He was the first to punch me, and then I just used self-defense and went from there. Luckily, some teacher saw the whole thing and made sure I wouldn't get in trouble. By school rules, they still had to call Marcus. They said they called him and made sure to tell him that it wasn't my fault and that I was just doing self-defense, but I know it won't be good when I walk through the door.

I finally just suck in a breath and force my legs to walk. I walk through the door and close it behind me, putting my book bag and shoes by the entryway during the process. I make sure to stand up straight, knowing it will be worse if I don't use correct posture. "TOBIAS! GET OVER HERE!" I finally hear Marcus say. I feel a rush of adrenaline run through me and I walk to the living room, where he is most likely going to be at.

I go into the living room, bracing myself for the worst. I see him smiling devilishly at me. It sends chills running down my spine. "Now son, how was school today? Did you do anything…exciting?" he asks me. For a second, I believe that they forgot to call him. So I make a bad mistake. I lie. "No sir. Nothing happened," I say. His eyes enlarge, filled with fury and hate. He jumps up from his seat, and just the look on his face makes me step back out of fear.