Wikigirl 2 //PJM

Chapter 20

They say the past is left in the past and something that's gone, can no longer get a hold of you. For as long as you don't think of it and don't bring it to your present with your thoughts, overcoming anything is possible. Undoubtedly such words are the truth but the truth is not always flawless.

Such is the case with this one, too, for no human has ever managed to be as rational as this truth. You had never wondered before, why people prefer lies over the truth but at that moment, gazing at yourself in the mirror, you witnessed you, who always hated lies, desiring one.

However, truth is something you can't run from once you know it. Once you welcome her in, she is like an icy lover that wants the best for you but aches you as you embrace her. She saves you from the pain of lies by her visit and will let you taste in your bones, the bitterness and pain that comes from the consequences of having your sweet warm lie broken.

Truth isn't for everyone. Not all, are as strong as they need to be in order to accept her. It won't matter if their heart is weak or their mind is weak, no matter which one, there are people that just prefer being blind, because, without that sweet lie, they could no longer find their will to live.

That kind of person was what your mom had been, and you were someone that unlike the rest around you, you could never choose. For the truth was in love with you. It followed you no matter what you wanted, it keeps revealing to you things you didn't even need to know. Your blessing and your curse, being Wikigirl.

There was no choice for you but to be strong, it had always been like that. It didn't matter if you could take the pain or not, you just had to take it and this was gonna be one more such night, that you will have to gulp down all the bitterness they may awake in you.

If I was a warrior in my past life...I must have at least had a shield...why in this one I am always without a single cover...is it really that bad, that I want to back out for once

You gazed sadly at your reflection while you felt a tight feeling travelling from your chest towards your throat, making you look upwards in an attempt to not allow yourself to get teary eyes.

The previous day had passed so soon. Why did it have to go by without you having managed to prepare yourself emotionally still? 

You had stayed so many hours watching Jimin act on the set and had occupied your mind successfully with everything around you. You hadn't allowed your thoughts to be quiet not even for a moment and even later at work, you had kept blubbing while working about the most random things.

You had even taken on the morning shift too right after your night one, to compensate for you leaving the previous one, yet again, you had reached home, with plenty of time to think. Time you didn't want to fill with thoughts at all, but once you were alone, the emotions you had been pushing, reached you like a wave. All it took was a glimpse in the mirror while you passed by.

Your tired-looking image, made you bring the image of your mother before your eyes and that was all it took, for the past to crawl in your presence and collar you once again.

"There's no running away from it. I will try to not get too mad...I will try to not let the unfairness choke me..." You spoke to your reflection as if you were guiding you but instantly you realize that there was no way you would behave like that, with the temper that you had.

"Ah fuck it. Let's fight. I will just go and mess them all up! They invited me on their own. Why would I be considerate of the atmosphere when they most likely won't be considerate of my feelings and my sister's? I will just go and be the villain. That's what I will do!" Your voice rose as you spoke, overtaken by your passion and slight anger for you were always the rebel one for them.