Wikigirl 2 //PJM

Chapter 28

Do you know what happens to the ones who run away? The ones that flee from their own selves and scoop out their own eyes in order to be blind towards their own feelings. The cowards, the frightened, the ones that are good at ignoring and pretending. The ones that are skilled at numbing pain and walking on with it on hold.

The ones that pile up frozen emotions inside a corner of their heart, treating their own self like a container of ice, thinking that winter will last forever. They will be able to maintain everything in the numb state that it is forever. But there's no such thing as forever, no matter the situation, no matter the case.

There are no numb feelings that will remain so for eternity nor there be pain that can live as vividly within you till the end of time. 

To some, it happens unconsciously. A slip in the pit of nothingness. Lost in a fog of a mixture of strong emotions only to then find yourself in a blink of an eye, in a haze of nothingness. You are supposed to be feeling things, but you don't. You are supposed to have a reaction, but there's none and with every breath you take, every tick of time that goes by, you just find yourself diving deeper, on that nothingness, that numbness that ends up making you a spectator to your own life.

And some chose that hell with their own two hands. They chose to run away from the impact of their own feelings because it could be too much to take. They chose to dive into that nothingness and even forcibly bury themselves in the numbness. Anything it could take, just to flee from the pain that has found them. Unable to realize that emotional numbness is not selective. If you get caught up in that nothingness, then you won't be able to feel many things, not just pain, but everything positive as well. You won't be able to feel what being alive is supposed to be. 

Numbness is nothing but a coffin -we find ourselves or put ourselves in-. Numbness is a tombstone for our hearts, that leaves the body living while the soul is being silently tormented.

But a human with one half on the living side and one at the edge of death, can't stay in a coffin forever. Cause no matter how strong winter can be, everything is meant to melt at a point and what we buried will surface. Powerfully, viciously, like the roar of a thousand thunders, the pain you once numbed, will come back to you.  And it will remind you, that you can still feel, cause you are still alive.

That moment when you will find yourself more on the side of the living will be a moment of terror, for all that you have accumulated will be a pain much bigger than the ones you numbed individually. And they will embrace you so strongly, so eagerly, that you will taste death while feeling that moment you have been the most alive in.

That insane line of bittersweetness that brings tears to roll down wide smiles and waves of laughter. That oxymoron becomes your identity as you realize that there's no running away no more. For you can halt but you can't escape. Your feelings will always find you because they have always been yours to live.

The craziness of pain and euphoria life could bring, were being displayed on P3's face like a canvas of chaos as blood was now dripping down his hands, and a flaming ache had taken over his knuckles, the skin off he had ripped apart, but hitting other people.

The ground around him was full of men that were struggling to stand up, some on the verge of unconsciousness and others still allowing their whimpers of pain to excite his heart.

The two men that were dressed identically in their motorcyclist's attire, were left looking at him with wide eyes behind their dark helmets that were keeping safe their identities, along with three other men that had bats in their hands, but seemed way too scared to approach and end up like most of their friends had, only they had dared to try to attack Jimin again.