Wikigirl 2 //PJM

Chapter 43

Was it a mistake? To love without questioning? Was it so wrong to trust blindly? The ability to love fully and truly. The blessing of seeing the good in others. The better you can love, the more humane you are.  Yet the more you start loving without any conditions, the further away you will go, because loving without a benefit, loving without a reason, without wanting something in return or without having anything to gain, is not how humans love.  We aren't capable of such love.

Even a parent can forsake you if you turn out to be something they did not approve of. They can withhold love from you and give it only under certain conditions. To get love, there's always something you must give in return.

In our world, where everything has a price, so does love. The ones that are capable of loving for free and giving love freely are the ones we tend to label as more than human.

"Such an angel, they are." They will say and look at them with admiration and even jealousy, not thinking for even a moment what is the price of kindness in a world that is far from kind.

No one ever sits to contemplate how torturing it must be for an angel to live where they don't belong. How hard it is to survive in a world that's trying to kill you.

An angel can not stay in hell for long and expects to not be polluted. For no matter how pure one's soul may be, it doesn't equal durability.

We all break sooner or later. We all get stained one way or another.

The kindness and love you were capable of will one day come to be your grave. For even if you loved purely, unconditionally, and truly, the target of your feelings was still unworthy.

Your love may have been free, but it remains a weapon. One that will cruelly tear you apart with the same intensity you loved.

There's no dead heart that was not once kind. There's no suffering soul that did not once know love, nor there exists a heartless cruel being that was not once pure.

The pitiful lost souls are made from tears and sorrow. The sinners are born from despair, and the madmen are created from broken hearts and shattered hopes.

Loving will always have the biggest risks and the highest price. A bet that if you lose, it could cost you your entire entity.

And he was among the losers of this game. Left in darkness, frozen in time as his consciousness hangs in the middle of the essence of his soul,  like a corpse.

Droplets of red were travelling down his chest while Jimin's shut eyes kept shedding tears that would unite with his blood along the journey downwards and they would disturb rhythmically the lake of darkness that lay beneath him.

With an open chest and his heart missing from its place, he remained hollow, bearing the cold eyes of the thief that stole it from him.

In P3's eyes, Jimin's figure appeared just as he had left him and his presence there felt identical if it wasn't for the exception that he had a beating heart within him instead of Jimin. P3 had, in his possession, something precious that was responsible for keeping them all alive as well as the thing that was holding them all unable to escape the withering pain of existence.

If it wasn't for this foolish heart that got hurt so badly, Jimin't brain would have never needed to go above and beyond to protect him from feeling that ache. If it wasn't for this ability of it to love fully, Jimin could have been spared from hell.

In P3's eyes, this heart was at fault as much as the ones that broke it, yet no matter how often he caught himself hating the existence of Jimin's heart, he couldn't help but know that it was his as much as it was Jimin's, no matter how distasteful that was and how much he would never dare admit to it.