Hate at First Sight

Chapter 33

Alice's P.O.V

As everybody starts to leave and bid me a happy birthday once again I bite back my tears and smile and thank them all for coming and wish them a safe journey home and everything blurs together. Ben pulls me close. He's very clingy tonight. I think it's my pending departure that has him feeling sentimental but he won't let me out of his sight.

He takes my hand and pulls me up to my room away from anybody who might overhear.
"Why leave?" He asks, steel in his tone.
I've never seen him so determined.
"I've told you a million times!" I sigh.
I sit down on the edge if my bed and watch him as he wanders around my room, pacing.

"What good is a competition? Isn't your happiness more important?"
I smile gently at him.
"I like America, Ben. I'll be okay."
He kneels down on front of me and places a hand either side of my waist so I don't move.
"You. Make. Me. Happy. You're my light, you break up the monotony and bleak reality of my everyday life! I need you Alice and maybe you don't need me but I sure as hell need you and if you leave how do I manage then?"
I try to find away to respond but I can feel the lump in my throat and I know as soon as I speak I'll break down.
"You were fine before you met me and you'll be fine again after. You have to." I snuffle wiping my eyes with my sleeve. "Deal with missing one person. Do you know how many I have to miss?"

He stands up slowly until he's level with me. He kisses me gently and I pull him towards me. He loses his footing and collapses on top of me, laughing. We hear footsteps and he rolls away from me, sitting up.
Lea walks in and sinks down onto the floor, slouching against the door.
"Alice you can't!"
She cries. Her face, scrunched up in pain, looks so much like my own.

I get up. I can't even understand the emotions welling up inside of me and they're overwhelming me.
"How selfish are you all?" I shout now.
"I don't know you guys for most of my life and all of a sudden I meet you all and now I'm not allowed go back to my normal life? Grow up!"
I storm out of the room and into the bathroom, slamming the door behind me. Great. Now our birthday is ruined. The tears stream down my face uncontrollably. Oh wait it's 1:09 am. Birthday's over anyway.

I hear two sets of footsteps coming up the stairs and Mom and Dad questioning Lea and Ben.
I slouch against the cold tiles before lying down properly and laying my head on my hands.

Mom knocks on the door a few times but I don't answer. I know what I'll do! I'll make them all hate me. I'll be the most horrible person they've ever met for the next week and then it won't hurt them so much when I leave.
Mom knocks again but I stay quiet.
I feel my eyes shutting and I doze off on the bathroom floor, vowing to be horrible to everyone tomorrow. To save them from the pain that I'm going to face.