Hate at First Sight

Chapter 39

Alice's P.O.V

It's going to kill me to make my parents hate me now too, that much I know for sure but I know what I have to do. I sit anxiously at the kitchen table waiting for them to come home. Lea is gone somewhere, I don't know where but somewhere away from me anyway. At this moment in time I feel like the loneliest person on the planet.

I hear a key rattle in the door and my parents laughter echoes in the hallway.
I cling to the picture, ready for my performance though I know I won't have to fake these emotions. My heart is in pieces at this point so it'll be very believable.

Mom walks in closely followed by Dad carrying some shopping bags. They greet me cheerfully but I don't turn around or acknowledge them, I just stare at the photograph. Mom places a hand gently on my shoulder and leans across me to see what I'm looking at.
I jump up startling her and Dad.

"I can't believe you did it to me!" I yell accusingly.
"You chose her over me and I don't care what you say because I was your little girl too and you could have taken me back, you could've raised me and nurtured me like you did for her but you didn't. I've lived my whole life so far believing that nobody could ever want me or love me. All I've ever been is a burden."

I let the photo flutter dramatically to the ground beside me and glance down at their happy faces beaming up at me and Lea's sixteenth birthday badge glaringly obvious. My sixteenth birthday was yet another beach party with people I pretended to like.

"I've never connected with my friends or with guys because I'm always too afraid they'll hurt me, leave me. I hang around with people I don't really care about because then I know I can't be hurt when they leave. Because they will. If my own parents didn't love me how could anyone else? You know I've been so insecure when I'm with Lea here because clearly she's the better twin? Nobody wants me."

Tears stream down my face but I force myself to continue.
"And as for Lea she hated me from the moment I got here but I thought I redeemed myself and we could be friends but now I realise we can't.
I fell for one guy who couldn't decide whether he wanted me or Lea but I'm pretty sure it was Lea he wanted because it's always Lea right? Who wants me when they can have her and then I had my heart broken because I fell in love but I know I have to let him go."

"Let's be honest here none of you want me and so I'm leaving. For good!" I run from the room as my parents scream my name behind me. I lock my bedroom door and begin flinging everything into my suitcase. I don't fold the clothes or separate my make-up, I just fire everything in and zip it up.

I'm due to leave tomorrow so I'll sleep here tonight and leave before anyone wakes. Not that they'll look for me anyway.

I check my phone but the only text I have is from Aunt Amy reminding me to arrive on time for my flight.
I open my contacts and delete Lea's, Ben's and my parents numbers. I begin to scroll through my photos but it's too painful. At least I'm shielding them from the pain I've grown accustomed to. At least they don't have to hurt like I do.