Under the Blue Moon

Chapter 18

While in your Uber ride home, you start to feel more and more lightheaded and dizzy. When the Uber pulls up to your driveway, you get out of the car and thank the driver. You fumble through your purse and find your keys and unlock the two brand new locks and walk into the house. Once inside, you lock the two locks behind you. You kick off your shoes and head straight for the kitchen.

The only objective you have now is to get some food into your belly. You look up at the clock and it reads 9:35. You think, "I could have been home and hour ago and had already eaten by now. SHIT!"

You open up your fridge and find bread and cold cuts. You make quick work of making a sandwich and immediately stuffing it into your face. You can't stop your head from feeling light and dizzy, but you are sitting down at your kitchen table and feeling well enough. You continue to shovel big bites of your sandwich, hoping to keep the dizziness from progressing into something worse. When you finally take your last bite, you grab a big glass of water to wash it all down. Going back to the fridge, you find some fruit that you've cut up over the weekend and consume that as well, in hopes that quick sugar in your blood will help you feel better quicker. After an entire bowl of fruit, you pour yourself a glass of orange juice and down that too. No longer feeling hungry, or overly dizzy, you walk out to your living room and plop down on the couch.

Then suddenly, you hear banging on your kitchen door. Alarmed, you go back to the kitchen to see what the problem is. Through the cut-out window of the door, you see Jin standing there. You turn the kitchen light on, and he looks up to see you. He says, "Doll face, please open the door."

You say, "No thank you. Please go home Jin. I don't want whatever it is that you're selling."

"You said you'd give me time; I just want thirty minutes and then I'll leave. Please... Let me just be near you for 30 minutes. We won't even have to talk. Please. I'm sorry. Please, I love you."

You ask, "Thirty minutes, and then what? What's the point of those 30 minutes? It's not going to change anything for you. The outcome will still be the same at the end of those 30 minutes. Why bother?"

"If nothing will change, then why not let me have that? What's the difference between being done with me now or thirty minutes later? The time won't mean anything to you, but it'll mean everything to me. Please let me just have these 30 minutes."

You can see the desperation in his eyes, and you can't help but feel bad for him. Then you think, "I am pathetic. I am an easy mark, a sap, a fool." Then you turn to him and say, "thirty minutes and then you are going to leave, walk out these doors and leave me alone forever. Do you hear me? Those are my terms."

"Yes. That's fine. If that's what you want."

You reluctantly unlock your kitchen door and let him in. As soon as he gets inside, he pulls you into his embrace. Then he says, "Oh God. I missed you so much. Just please let me hold you. Please." You stand there in Jin's tight embrace, using every ounce of energy that you have, to not burst into tears.

You say, "If you think this is how you are going to get to spend the next half an hour, you better change your expectation right quick."

He lets you out of his embrace and looks down at you. Then he asks, "Can you look at me please?"

"No."

He pushes you away from him a little so that he can see your face. Then he says, "Look at me."

"I don't want to look at you. I am tired and I have things to do." But realize that you left everything in the back seat of your car. You think, "I guess I'm not going to be getting any work done tonight." You pry yourself out of Jin's hands and go back out to the living room. He follows you in and watches you go pick up your mail off the floor of the front door. You plop yourself down on the couch and start to look through the mail.