Under the Blue Moon

Chapter 20

When you get home, you toss everything by your front door and go upstairs. You text Josh to let him know that you got home okay, and you say good night to each other. You remove your clothes and get in the shower. Thinking about what you've decided to do with Josh, you feel more settled, but you are worried about Jin. Sooner or later, he will find out and you are not looking forward to how he is going to react to this development. You think, "He is going to absolutely freak out. I just hope he doesn't try and do anything stupid or rash." As you are getting ready for bed, you hear banging at your kitchen door. You think, "FUCK! NO. No!!!!"

Against your better judgment, you make your way to the kitchen door, yet again. As expected, it is Jin standing there. You say, "Aren't you tired of this? Because I am."

Jin says, "Open the door and let me in. We need to talk."

"About what? I don't have anything to say to you."

"Where were you tonight?"

"That would be none of your business." You think, "Oh, great... here we go."

"Open this door. Right now."

"Jin, you don't belong here. I am not letting you in."

He repeats his question, "Where were you tonight?"

"Where I go and when, is again, not your concern."

"At least have the guts to tell me to my face."

You sigh and think, "He already knows." You say, "Tell you what to your face?"

"Are you with him? Are you fucking him?"

"I don't have to answer to you. You have no claim on me. Please, go home."

He says quietly, "How long has this been going on? Were you seeing him while we were together?"

You think, "Did he just accuse me of cheating on him? The motherfucking nerve of this man."

You say, "I believe, you are thinking of what you did with Katie and trying to project that on me. I'm not like you. I can only deal with one person at a time in a relationship. Before I start with someone, I make sure that the one I was in previously is clearly over."

"Are you doing this to get back at me? To make me pay?"

You reply, "None of it has anything to do with you. You don't factor into my decisions of who I see and don't see. Remember, I was with you. You are the one who lied to get me to be with you. You screwed up. Not me. I didn't do anything untoward while you and I were together."

He says, "When did you start with him?"

"Tonight. I started with him this very night."

He closes his eyes and says, "You are mine. You belong to me. Fuck! I love you. Don't you understand that?"

"You keep saying that, but that's only in your private fantasy. I am not yours and I don't belong to you. And I understand that you think love is what you feel for me, but you aren't supposed to lie to the ones you love. Love doesn't mean only these soft and pleasant feelings, it means respect, it means commitment, it means being trustworthy. I'm sorry that you are hurting, but I can't go back to you. Maybe it isn't too late for you to salvage what you had with Katie. But Jin, please, please go home. Just forget about me and move on. I will always be your friend, but I just can't be with you. I can't trust you."

"So, that's what you want me to do? To be with Katie? Do you really think that you'd be okay with that? To see her in my arms and not you? You are fucking kidding yourself. Do you want to see what it feels like? Fine. I'll show you what it feels like to see someone else standing in the place where you should be."