The Lakes (Steve Rogers AU)

8

"Here, this will warm us up while dinner's cooking". Nell said, passing Steve a mug of hot chocolate and settling herself on the sofa next to him.

"Thanks". He smiled and took a sip. "Don't tell Nat, but this is better than hers". There was a smirk on his lips now.

Nell now chuckled at this. "Now that's a big claim".

"I only speak the truth". He said, looking around. "It's nice to see what you've done to this place; does it feel a bit more like home yet?"

"Y'know what's weird?  I kinda felt it as soon as I walked through the door".

Steve nodded, "I know what you mean. The town kinda has that effect on everyone".

"You had the same kind of feeling? Or am I just jumping to conclusions?" 

"Not at all, and to answer your question. Yeah". He told her, watching as she got up to quickly check on dinner. "Need any help?" 

"How good are you at dicing peppers?" 

Steve snorted, "I'm not five stars when it comes to chef skills, but I think I'm capable of that" 

"Great, you wanna come help me? The chicken's still got some time left in the air fryer but I need to add the mushrooms, onions and peppers to a pan and fry them myself". 

"This a Nell creation?" He asked, taking a knife from the block and beginning to chop up the peppers. 

Her face lit up. "It is, I like cooking, experimenting. I've learnt what works and what doesn't. Baking's more fun though, but in general I like to cook for people". 

"Bucky likes to joke that the only thing I can cook as such is a slice of toast". He chuckled, continuing to chop at the pepper. "Which isn't true by the way...I'm perfectly capable of making something edible". 

She laughed lightly and took the chopped peppers and put them into the pan whilst Steve worked on cutting the onions and Nell the mushrooms as she eyed the pasta now bubbling. "We'll soon find out, thanks" She smiled and took the rest of the things from him, popping them in the pan. 

The conversation over dinner flowed with ease, which surprised Steve if he was honest as he wasn't used to making any like this. They talked about the cities they'd lived in, themselves generally. But Nell wasn't the type who liked talking about herself, and he supposed she was like him in some ways. 

"Did you have anyone back in the city before you arrived here?" He now found himself asking, not really knowing why other than just sheer curiosity.

"Not really. I dated a guy I worked with for a month or two, but it wasn't right - how about you?" She asked, wondering whether he'd open up about his wife. 

He looked at hos plate. "I'm er, I'm actually widowed..." 

"Oh, shit I'm sorry". She apologised as he waved it off. 

"It's fine, I've kinda become used to being on my own. My wife died a few years back on the lake, it's not something I tell people freely obviously, but I trust you" His eyes flickered up to hers. 

"What happened? That's if you don't mind me asking? Actually, No, forget I did". 

Steve smiled lightly. "Nell, it's fine. I can talk about it - it's got easier over the last year or two. She used to swim in the lake, she was a strong swimmer - one day she went off, dived in but hit her head when she did. Some kids found her a couple of hours later...God I wish they hadn't, they didn't need to see something like that..." 

"And what about you? How have you been coping?" 

"The usual therapy. I'm not afraid to admit that I go every week to a guy that Phil knows. I kinda feel I don't need to anymore though, but I guess I'll see how I feel. I could be underestimating myself". He sighed. "As a cop, you see a lot of stuff, I saw more back in Brooklyn than here for sure, but when it's your own wife that you have to go down and identify? You start questioning everything..." 

Nell reached over and gave his hand a squeeze. "Well, it's normal to feel that way. Some people cope better than others. It doesn't make you any less of a person, but the fact that you may feel ready to stop therapy? Seems like you're taking the next step in healing - wow, I sound like I'm talking to a child. Sorry" She apologised. 

Steve smiled. "Honestly? I don't talk about it enough. Not to Bucky or anyone. He's been trying to get me to date and stuff, but I'm not ready for that. I told myself I would, and I doubt I ever will be". 

"Well only you can decide that, but you shouldn't pass up potential happiness". 

"Guess I feel like I'd be betraying Sharon". 

"Another natural feeling. But like I said, only you can decide what you do. No one is going to judge you for not wanting to enter into anything serious again. I certainly don't". 

Nell felt for Steve. He was still grieving in some respects but healing at the same time. He'd not feel whole again, but with the right friends and support around him, it appeared that it had helped him since the tragedy. 

They cleared away the plates and Steve looked at his watch. It was getting late and he should really be getting back. He'd imposed on Nell's hospitality long enough. "Thanks for dinner, and if it's any consolation? You're the better cook". He smirked. 

"No problem. You ever need to talk or whatever, then you know where I am". She said, showing him out. 

He turned back and looked at her seriously, eyes burning into hers. "Thanks Nell..." 

She looked up at him. "You're welcome..." 

Eye contact broken, she watched from the doorway as he made his way to the patrol car and waved him off, the headlights disappearing into the night.