Carpe Diem • Scarlett Johansson x Y/N

Epilogue

SCARLETT's POV
November 22, 2023.

"And I chose you
The one I was dancing with
In New York, no shoes
Looked up at the sky and it was..."

I looked up at the night sky. It's a full moon tonight, it's really beautiful, especially with all the stars around it.

I lost track of time, but I think I've been outside for hours now. And it's cold tonight, but I don't really mind; I like it.

It's my birthday today. My friends and family came over earlier and celebrated it with me. It was just a simple celebration; it was cozy and peaceful.

It was almost perfect.

Almost.

If only... Y/N was there with me.

But I can't do anything about that. It's been a year since my girlfriend passed away. It's still fresh—the pain and the longing. And I know it will linger for a very long time, but I'm trying my hardest not to get too upset because I made a promise to Y/N that I'd do my best and be happy. And I intend to keep that promise. Step by step.

"You would've loved Taylor Swift's new album," I said, staring at the moon. "I just know it."

There's not a day that I don't think about Y/N. She's actually the only thing that's on my mind. I missed her. So bad.

My heart still feels heavy every time I think about Y/N—about losing her. It never gets easy.

"If you were still here, I'd never sleep." I said and chuckled. "I'd just... stare at you. And it will be enough with you by my side. But... I can't do that, can I?" I sighed. "Because now, baby... I just sleep and sleep. So that I can see you again."

And losing you over and over again is a constant sacrifice every time I wake up.

I closed my eyes, listening to the sound of the waves, and it calmed me down a bit.

I took a deep breath and opened my eyes, then stared up at the moon.

"I'd like to think that there's another life out there where we are together, that we're holding each other and we're happy, just the two of us." I said, "Because we can't do that in this life—we really can't 'cause I lost you here."

"And I lost you
The one I was dancing with
In New York, no shoes
Looked up at the sky and it was maroon

The burgundy on my t-shirt
When you splashed your wine into me
And how the blood rushed into my cheeks
So scarlet, it was maroon

The mark they saw on my collarbone
The rust that grew between telephones
The lips I used to call home
So scarlet, it was maroon..."

I took a deep and shaky breath. I gulped, wiping my tears. "I miss you, my baby. I missed everything about you. I miss singing with you. I miss dancing with you. I miss your hugs and I miss your kisses—how I miss your lips. I just... miss you so much."

"And I wake with your memory over me
That's a real fucking legacy, legacy (it was maroon)
And I wake with your memory over me
That's a real fucking legacy to leave..."

"But don't worry, my love. I'm keeping my promise to you. I'll never get tired of trying to be happy again. You know, I'd do anything and everything for you." I said, smiling a little. "I'd do everything for you in a heartbeat."

I might not spend the rest of my life with you, and our story didn't really end the way we both wanted it to, but you were still my best story. And you're not here with me physically, but you are always in my heart and my thoughts. Your presence still lingers, and I'd like it to stay that way.

I closed my eyes, enjoying the wind and the sound of the ocean.

When you hear the sound of the ocean, think that it was me, telling you how much I love you.

I smile, "I love you too."

I opened my eyes and looked at the tattoos on my wrist: her initials and carpe diem.

Well, I've certainly been trying my best to always seize the day. That's what she wanted me to do, and that's what we were doing before she died, so I'd like to continue doing that. It's like... our own promises.

I took a deep breath and kissed my tattoos. Then I looked up at the moon. It made me smile because now I understand what Y/N meant when she said that the moon comforts her. The moon comforts me on another level; it's like being embraced by her—and her trying to light up my darkness.

I put my hand on my chest, feeling my heartbeat. This is where she belongs—where she lives now. In my heart. And I will carry her and our memories for as long as I breathe. She'll always be my favorite girl, my rest, my happiness, my sadness, my strength, my weakness, my baby, my love, and most importantly, she will always be my forever. Forever in my heart and memories. The person that gives me strength and hope is also the person that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, but unfortunately, that can't happen.

That's why, for now, I will just cherish our memories and hope that we will meet again. Someday, somewhere in another life, and maybe, just maybe, we will finally have our happy ending.

So, Y/N, my love, meet me for the first time in another life and rewrite our story. But for now, the beautiful things in this world will be my reminder that you're still with me, guiding me and giving me strength.

I took a deep breath and smiled at the moon.

"Until next time, my love. I will meet you again." I said and closed my eyes again, feeling the wind caressing my face.

When you feel the wind, think that it's me, caressing your skin.

"Until next time, Y/N. Please know that I will always love you. You own my heart and my mind. It will forever be like that. And as much as it still hurts, I'm willing to feel this because I know what we had was real. So, don't worry too much about me, okay?" I look at my tattoos and say, "I'll be fine, baby."

Carpe diem is such a simple phrase, but it has had a profound impact on me. It's all because of Y/N. The love of my life. My favorite almost.

I looked up at the moon, "My favorite almost." I smiled, my heart aching. "I'll see you again, my love. Until next time."

With that, I decided to stop the music and stand up. And with one last look at the moon, I turned around and walked towards my home. The same home wherein every corner reminds me of Y/N. And it will stay like that, for the rest of my life. Until I finally see and hold Y/N again. But for now, it's gonna be just me and my memories of her. And I will continue my best to be happy and to always see the beauty in life, to always seize the day, and regret nothing. To live with Y/N in my heart, where she'll continue to live on.

———

Author: music used: Maroon by Taylor Swift. Xo