He who she loves

Chapter 44

"Ain't it messed up when you always wanted something but had to give it up because things aren't working out no matter how hard you try? That shit breaks people."

I remain silent. I don't really wanna argue with Kuya Creed because I know he's right. It really sucks when things don't go the way you want them to be.

"That's why you should always choose what makes you happy when you have the chance, Brielle"

"Should I do that? Even if it's going to hurt a lot of people that I love?"

He looked at me and raised his eyebrow. "Are you planning to do something terrible?"

I chuckled. "Yes"

He tapped my shoulder. "Then, okay. I'll support you as long as you're happy with your decisions"

"Pero hindi ba ganun naman talaga? Hindi kayo nagkakatuluyan ng taong gusto mo"

"We all deserve reciprocation. Aren't we?"

"But reality is often disappointing." He added.

I take a long deep breath. I couldn't sleep a wink last night.

"Ang lalim naman nun kapatid"

"I'm really getting tired of it, Kuya."

There was a silence between us and when he finally spoke, tears started to scream in my cheeks.

"I'm having a hard time"

He pulled me closer and gave me a warm hug, the one that I needed right at this moment.

"I'm just here. You can always lean on me, my little sister. You don't need to figure it all out. Just little by little, then you'll be okay"

"I really want to end up with Alexander, but when things get complicated I always end up hurting him. I can't help but to think if I really deserve his love"

"Love hurts, Brielle and you just need to choose someone who's willing to go through that pain with you."

I tried to smile as soon as our eyes met. I'm really nervous right now, but I need to do this. I shouldn't run away in the first place, just like what Ansella said.

"Kanina ka pa?" Tanong ko kay Alexander.

He nodded his head. He looks really tired. I feel bad leaving yesterday.

"You already ordered our drinks"

He smiled but I felt like it was not genuine.

"I'm sorry about yesterday. I'm not feeling well"

"Are you okay now?" He asked.

I slightly nod my head.

I took a sip of my coffee and took a deep breath.

"You came into my life when everything is going wrong, Alexander"

And I'm really thankful for that.

"Since I've met you, things just seem.."

I stop for a moment and clear the lump on my throat.

"It's not like you can fix all the baggages inside me, but with you by my side, everything seems better, and a lot easier"

"Bri-" I stopped him.

"I'm sorry, Alexander"

I held this hand. "I'm sorry if I failed to show you how much you mean to me. The assurance that you have been longing for, I'm really sorry if I didn't show it to you."