WACECE NI??? Part 2

WACECE NI??? Part2 page Twenty-six BY CUTYFANTASIA

Tsayawa tayi cak tana kallon shi wata irin masifa na taso mata kamar ta sa hannu ta murɗe mi shi wuya kowa ya huta! She is tired! She is very tired da maganar Faris, ta baiwa kanta haƙuri ta futar da rai a kan shi ta karɓi ƙaddararta don haka bata ga dalilin da zai sa ya dinga dawowa yana dagula mata lissafi yana tafiya ba. So take tayi magana amma kuma bata son tayi ta cikin fushi don gudun faɗin abinda zata zo tayi danasani.
A matuƙar sanyaye ya soma magana daga inda yake tsaye cikin taushin murya domin ya karanta hasalar da tayi da ganin shi kuma bai ga laifinta ba. Duk wasu abubuwan da yake so ya fahimta game da ita da ita ya fahimta,duk abinda ya shige masa duhu ya gane. Kuma yayi imanin wannan ne chance dinsa na qarshe kuma ba zai yi gangancin wasa da shi ba.

"Ihman! Calm down! Calm down please!"

Cikin fushin da ta kasa hadiyewa tace

"I should calm down kuci gaba da gara rayuwata a faranti? I should calm down ku dinga wasa da zuciyata kamar ball? Sai kawai naci gaba da zuba idanu ana breaking dina over and over saboda bani da hankali? It's over Faris! It's Over!! I'm done with any man bayan wanda na sa a gaba zan aura and I'm not going back. Hashim alkhairi ne a gare ni kuma na karbe shi da hannu bibiyu ina fatan na kasance cikin farin ciki! So please don't even start with anything that has to do with us, ya wuce you are my past, you are the most challenging experience da na hadu da shi, don Allah kada ka sake kokarin mayar dani halin da na futa daga ciki dakyar. I beg you...."

Ta karashe maganar tana hade hannuwanta guda biyu waje daya alamar roko, idanunta ya ciko da ruwan bakin ciki da kunar zuciyar da take ciki. Cikin wani irin helplessness ya qaraso cikin office din ya durkusa guiwoyinsa guda biyu a qasa a gabanta cikin halin da bai taba tsintar kansa a ciki ba.

"Ihman I thought I could let you go, nasan ba abu ne mai sauki ba amma nayi tunanin zan iya sai daga baya na tabbatar cewa soyayyarki halittarciya ce a cikin zuciyata, idan har za'a iya futar da ita toh sai dai a hada da zuciyar gabadaya a futar da su daga cikin jikina, ko anyi hakan, I'm sure za'a bar traces din ta cikin jinin jikina!
Ihman na sha wahala, na sha wahala! I watched my mother go through the pain of cancer, ina kallon Inna tana shan wahalar ciwon da na saka duk abinda na mallaka a rayuwa a kasuwa na siyar ban iya samo mata maganin shi ba, ina kallonta a kan gadon da yake ticking sauran kwanakin rayuwarta, ina kallo take shan wahalar da bani da ikon futar da ita daga shi bayan ita kadai na mallaka a rayuwa.
A karshe Inna ta mutu in my hands, ina kallonta ta tafi ta barni cikin duniyar da ita kadai na sani na shaku a ciki, akan idona numfashinta ya futa ta bar rayuwata har abada cikin dumbin maraicin da rashin uba bai sanya ni a ciki ba.
A lokacin ji nake kamar ni kadai na rage a duniyar nan bani da kowa bani da komai bani da wajen zuwa. Not even wajen ki, domin bani da abun da zan baki, bani da kudin aurenki bani da farin ciki da kwanciyar hankalin da zan baki, ke I could not even find myself Ihman, my Ihman went soo low da na soma yi wa Allah tambaya akan halin da na tsinci kaina a ciki.......
Akwai lokutan da sallah ta dinga yi mun wahala, akwai lokutan da addinina ya karye yake shirin kubuce mun, i had to seek for counseling and therapy, sai da nayi watanni takwas ina jinyar zuciyata da ruhina kafin na dawo hayyacina nayi regaining ihmani da addinina na karbi qaddarata.
Bayan komai ya lafa ne na waiwayo baya, na tuna halin da na bar ki a ciki da alkwarin da na daukar miki, Ihman tsoro ne ya hanani dawowa akan lokaci, ina tsoron kada na dawo ace mun kin auri wani na, ko kin fasa aurena, ina tsoron abinda zan gaya miki ki amince dani a karo na biyu, sai kawai na amshi tayin aikin da na samu a Al-azhar na fara yi but not a single day passed by ba tare da tunanin ki a cikin zuciyata ba Ihman! God knows i love you soo much Ihman.........
I love you with every fiber of my being.......
Billahil azeeem ba qarya nake miki ba........"

Sai ya fara kuka, irin wanda yayi a lokacin da nunfashin Inna ya tsaya cak, sak irin abinda yaji a wancan lokacin yake ji, kamar bashi da kowa bashi da komai bashi da sauran dalilin rayuwa.
Itama Ihman durkushewa tayi daga gefe tana rera na ta kukan domin itama kamar yayi mata replaying duk rayuwarta ne, idan ka kalle su a lokacin za ka rantse wani indian scene Karan Johar din india yake directing sarkin soyayya shahrukhan da kajol, duk taurin zuciyarka ba za ka rasa hawaye a cikin idanunka ba. Dukansu su biyun kuka suke bilhaqqi daga cikin zuciyar su not minding a ina suke kuma a gaban juna suke. Basu ji lokacin da aka murda kofar ba sai qarar rufewa ce ta dawo dasu daga hayyacinsu.

A nutse Ihman ta mike ta koma kan kujera tana zaran tissue tana goge fuskarta duk da cewa hawayen ya kasa tsayawa, daga bisani ta mike ta shige toilet din da ke manne a office din ta kunna famfo ta tara tafukanta tana taran ruwan tana watsawa a fuskarta cikin wani irin galabaitaccen yanayi hoping zata samu relief daga abinda take ji.
Bata san adadin mintinan da ta dauka ba amma dai ta futo ta tarar babu Faris a cikin Office din ba dalilinsa, don haka ta tattara komatsanta ta kashe duka kayan wutar office din ta kawo glasses baki ta rufe yanayin da idanunta ke ciki ta kullo kofar ta futa not minding kallon da staff dinta ke mata na yanayinta, watakila ma sun ga shigowar Faris da yanayin da ya futa koma sun ji wasu abubuwan.
Abinda ya kawo ta din bata yi ba, daga meeting din akan lissafi da maganar Ritan duk sun bi ruwa, haka suka zuba mata idanu ta fuce domin basu san me zasu ce ba, abu daya suka gane shine wannan bakon duk lokacin da yazo sai ya dagula mata lissafinta ya sauya mata yanayi. A ganinsu bai kamata su tsare da ta tambaya ko magana ba domin mood din ta is very down don haka suna kallo ta bude kofa ta futa.

Tana shirin kunna motar ta Sadik ya shigo cikin mall din, yana ganinta yasha jinin jikinsa domin sunyi clashing da Faris a hanya bayan ya gama zaman jiran futowar Ihman daga toilet ya fahimci cewa ba zata futo ba sai ya tattara ya tafi.
Ga mamakin Sadik ko signal ko horn bai mi shi ba balle ya nuna ya gane cewa ya gan shi bayan ya tabbatar babu abinda zai hana shi ganin shin idan har yana cikin hayyacin shi.
Ba tare da yace mata komai ba yayi wa motar shi kyakykyawan parking ya bude ya futo sannan ya nufo ta, hannu ya mika mata alamar ta bashi key din ta mika masa babu musu, shi yayi driving dinsu zuwa gidan quietly ba tare da ya nemi jin komai daga wajenta ba. Tana futa daga motar yayi reverse ya futa, ta bi shi da kallo a sanyaye sannan ta shige gidan Hamma because she needs privacy.
Aunty Zainab din ma bata nan, kawai ta nemi kujerar falon ciki ta kwanta tan rufe idanunta tana rewinding scene din da ya faru dazu kwakwalwarta na maimaita kowacce kalma da Faris ya fada dalla dalla. Cikin kankanin lokaci jiinta ya dauki zafi ta soma makyarkyata da rawar zazzabi daga bisani bacci mai nauyi yayi gaba da ita.