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F I F T E E N

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Y/N POV

4 months later...

"So you feel like her trauma is her fault?" Dr. Thomas, my therapist asked. I've been going for almost four months now and we've been getting into the deeper aspects of my kidnapping and past traumas. Today is guilt, one of my last humps.

"Yes a hundred percent. Who's else is it?" I ask

"Spade's."

"Well technically yes... I guess I just feel like I should've done more to protect her from this whole experience. She didn't deserve to go through any of those feelings. I feel like if I maybe hid her more she wouldn't have found my home—"

"Y/n stop. I don't usually like to interrupt you because you've been making great progress. I applaud you for expressing your honest thoughts with me because that's not always easy. But you're going in circles. I need you to understand something. Are you listening with open ears and an open heart?"

"Yes." I take a deep breath, preparing myself for her next words.

"You are not responsible for the trauma you've experienced. You are not responsible for how Normani feels or what she experienced during your horrible kidnapping. You are the victim. YOU were the one who was attacked. YOU were tied up, beaten, humiliated by someone who did not deserve to step foot into your presence. Period."

"I don't want to be a victim." I whisper, now in silent tears.

"Then choose to be a survivor. Don't let what happened define you and trick you into thinking this is your fault. You are so much more than what you've been through." She grabs my hand and passes me a tissue.

"Thank you."

"It's my pleasure. You have to stop blaming yourself for things that we're out of your control. Normani went through that mental trauma because she loves and cares about you. You've been doing so well with your progress and I'm so proud of you. How are you feeling about everything?"

"Honestly, besides the guilt I feel great. You know I have my days or moments like just now, but 90% of my days lately have been really good. I was dreading therapy at first, I won't lie. These past few months have been hard mentally, but so worth it. I'm really starting to feel free of this dark cloud I had looming over me all these years. I honestly wonder how I ever did it."

"You feel lighter don't you?" Dr. Thomas smiled

"Yeah... I really do." I smiled back, glad I can finally say I feel like I've gotten to place of safety in my own mind. I've journaled, reflected, and I even have a video diary of me just letting out whatever is on my mind. It was really therapeutic for me to just be able to speak to no one at all and say whatever I was thinking without anyone to discredit me or coddle me. I've let go of the fear of being chased forever and ever. I've let go of the negative thoughts about myself and my life. I even walked the road to forgiveness regarding my homophobic parents. I feel... calm. Which is something I only felt around Normani. Now it's constant and I have faith I will maintain this feeling for good.

Normani POV

One week later in Normani's session...

"So today's your last session with me, how are you feeling? Do you wanna add more? Are you in a good place to stop? Let me know your thoughts." Dr. Thomas asked. She's been both my and Y/n's therapist for these four months and she's been fantastic. We've had joint sessions as well as individual sessions for and I couldn't have asked for a better therapist.