Core corruption Act I: first of the awakening's

Chapter 4: Okay, but why though

I cannot be understand that I have been in love for a really long time Now! Out of all God damm times! I already have a lot on my plate! I feel my whole body burn up  and I rush to the exit of the room- hold up. I need a proper excuse.

Kai:" I need to take some fresh air. I feel like I'm about to fade away for no reason. Hehehe."
With that weak excuse I went out and went to the training ground. I sat at the stairs and started doing something I never did before.

Think! this! s*it! trough!

I went through all the possible ways and reasons why I would even think of such a thing. After all zane is the only ally that calls everyone  his 'brother' or 'sister'. Thinking such a thing about him would be playing russian roulette by already knowing the bullet will be fired when it's your turn.
But as I list the reasons the more I get that I was right at the start. The more I think why would I get attracted to him the list of reasons hit me like a bullet.
He was smart, generous, calm, great at the battlefield, a great cook and he always took care of us like a mother. And I believe the last part is the primary reason.

I have almost never experienced the love of a mother. Instead I was the one doing the mothering to nya! So I believe when I see zane taking care of us and being the one to do the housework I started thinking he is more than a friend to me. But I didn't want to accept that I saw a friend of mine a parent figure so probably my mind went the other way around and do to me used to being a moron (like 2 days ago but no matter how far it is past is past)

I feel dizzy from over thinking and let my body fall back and I lay on the stone floor. Okay, so Apparently I am indeed in love with zane. How do I cope now? Do I wait till it fades away, do I pretend I don't feel like that whenever I am around him or do I just take my 8.27℅ chance and take the rejection when it happens.
Hmmm...
Well if I go with the last one then I actually have a reason to forget about this feeling ever happening and like. Come on! How bad can a rejection from zane go!?  Probably he will just say 'I am sorry but I do not feel about you the same way' or stuff and done!
Okay then. Making sure of the truth of the feeling. Check! Making a plan to cope with. Check! Now I just need to find a proper time... Well I spouse if I ask him to train with me on a random day of this week that would give me enough time to come up with a confession and I could try to increase the possibility of a yes on the way. Okay then! I prepare a confession tonight and wait till my guts tell me it's the day, I pull him to a quiet place And I read my heart to him during the training hours!

'Now that's a great plan my good friend!'

I stand up and yell to the emptiness
Kai:"WHO SAID THAT! "

'You don't have to speak with me out loud. I can hear your thoughts which I thought you figured out since you didn't read your confession plan out loud'

Kai:'okay then who are you and what do you want!? '

'What did you thought little wu mean by 'a side voice to support you in a good way'
Kai:'.. You are the God master though me about.. Aren't you that God of reason and ice!? '

'I go by herrscher or aeon usually but we will talk quite a lot so you know what? I believe it can't be a problem for me to tell you my name'
call me Kelvin

Kai:'well nice to meet you... I would usually have a lot of questions but I believe I can answer them as I get to know you more. By the way did you mean when you call my plan good'?

' wow. I didn't expect such a calm greeting. And why yes. Now are we going to go back to watching the game or what? I wonder how bad Jay loses. '

Kai:'you take the word out of my mouth'

I return to the gaming and just sit where I was sitting. This time actually my eyes out the tv. I already know I love him no need for further investigation. I believe I will just write and memorize my confession tonight and like I said wait for... My gust to tell mi it's the time if dey kindly would..?

' you actually want me to encourage you when I believe the day and time is right? It would be an honor to me. You keep your mind in memorizing the thing and leave the time to me.

I really do loved having communication with you kelvin. It's great to actually have the ' second voice' master thought me.

'Why thank you cutey~ the feeling is mutual'

I smile and just continue my day normally. See you tomorrow kelvin.