Mr. Imperfectionist 2

9 - Regrets

I suddenly became aware that it was Rex touching me and not Sabil. I couldn't allow this to happen. I covered my body with the blanket and cried, "Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry."

Rex had landed on the ground on his back. He lay there without moving. He must have been disappointed and startled by my quick change in attitude. He stood up gradually, smoothed his shirt, and ran his fingers through his hair. He then turned to face me. He didn't look angry at all; instead, his eyes were tender and disappointed. He didn't ask or say anything. He just remained still and gloomily regarded me.

I broke eye contact with him and looked down, embarrassed. I wanted to leave the room as soon as I walked in. I was doing all this for all the wrong reasons. I wanted to keep Sabil from entering my thoughts. I wanted to forget that I was in Spain and that I wanted to meet him. Luckily, I'd deleted his number four years ago. Otherwise, I know I'd have made the mistake of calling him. Being with Mike had distracted me from Sabil's memories. My nightmares had stopped. I believed that being with Rex would help me forget about Sabil as well, allowing me to focus on my work without worrying that I would run into him and break down.

Making out with another man while being so near to Sabil felt wrong. So the easiest and only way to do this was to picture Sabil's face. While making out with Rex, I could almost smell Sabil's perfume, feel the warmth of his fingers on my bare skin, see his lusty smirk, and see his intense green eyes that gave me the chills every time he glanced at me.

Rex was about to step over the line when I suddenly realized he wasn't Sabil. He was someone I'd hardly known. And I merely wanted to use him for my own gain. This is not me. I cannot use someone as a rebound. What if Rex liked me? I can't do that to someone's heart. Rex didn't speak, so I decided to break this awkward silence.

"I'm so sorry, Rex. I'm just not ready for this." I said lowly, being careful not to enrage him.

"Why?" He asked in a plain voice.

I answered with a gentle shoulder shrug, "Maybe because I don't know you that well. I mean, I did like our kiss. But Rex, let's not act hastily without considering the repercussions. I have no idea if you even have a girlfriend."

Rex scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Girlfriend! I don't have a girlfriend, Saanj. I understand you don't know me. But do you think so little of me that I'd want to sleep with you though I have a girlfriend?"

"No, I didn't mean it that way." I gave a gentle head shake before gently closing my eyes. My head wanted to hit the floor for being so foolish.

"Look, Saanj," Rex said, sitting near my feet on the bed. "Forgive me if I've gone too far with this. I know that this is the wrong approach to express my interest in you. I went off course."

"You don't need to apologize. It was my mistake."

Rex smiled softly. "Would you like to go out to dinner with me tonight? Let's get to know one another and see how things work out for us."

The moment Rex asked me out, my heartbeat quickened. I wasn't sure about my feelings for him. Sabil was all I could think about. I liked Rex, but I did not see him as my potential boyfriend. I could not see him replacing Sabil in any way. The goal of dating Rex was to move past Sabil. I did not want to use Rex anymore.

Rex said, "You can say no," while I remained silent.

"No, it's not that," I responded, giving a little head shake. "I just think it's too soon."

Rex nodded in response, "Agreed. Take your time, Saanj. However, if you think we could go on a date after you return to India in five days, give me a call. I promise I'll catch the next flight to India."