The Hotel - H.S.

Chapter 33

Zoey's POV

May's visit was my turning point. My family saw it, the doctor's saw it, and I felt it in my bones. I had given up and was laying there waiting to be done feeling so broken, but once she came I clicked back on like a light switch. A messy, underweight, anxious little light switch. I felt myself breathing again, for the first time in 3 months. I hadn't taken the time to realize before then that my body was responding to the medicines and I was starting to get better. I was experiencing increased energy and increased red blood cell count.

Over the next two weeks after I turned myself back on, things started to change dramatically and I had a hard time keeping up. My mom and sister were by my side daily as my mind was spinning more and more with each hour. We were repeating tests, doing infusions, scanning and praying. I couldn't quite wrap my head around the information as it was coming in. 

I stayed in contact with May via text mostly, but refrained from sharing details about my health. I still felt this incredible need to protect my people from the hard stuff and to be honest, I just didn't know for sure how I was doing. Things were changing, excitement was brewing and the staff had a totally different vibe going. Test results were getting more positive, scans that would have shown the cancer were getting more negative. I put up a big wall as my cancer development began to stop, and then reverse. I held my breath at the good news, I just nodded and blinked, afraid to make any sudden movements. 

Finally, one day, my top trial doctor showed up. It was a person I saw rarely, especially as I began going downhill 2 and a half months ago. He came in, and looked for a long moment at my mother as she sat next to my bed with her nose in a book. I sat up slowly and shifted, looking at him with huge eyes and no hope. 

"Can I have a few minutes with Zoey?" He asked my mom politely. She stared for a few blinks, and I could clearly see she wasn't breathing. Finally she nodded her head and set her book aside.

"Yes..yes of course. I'll be out in the hall." She said quietly, running a hand down my arm and squeezing my hand before leaving the room. The doctor looked me over for a moment, then looked into the file he was holding. Finally, he huffed out a breath and sat down heavily into the chair my mom had vacated. 

"Zoey, you had us on edge. You were doing well with the trial and then suddenly your white blood cells were going bonkers-"

"Bonkers?" I interrupted. "Is that a medical term?" I deadpanned. 

"-and we started to see your body rejecting the meds and fighting itself. But then suddenly, things calmed. Things started to level out, adjust and improve. You will be one of the patients for this trial that go down in the books, Ms. Miller. I know the nurses and PA's have been keeping you updated on the improvements as we've gone so it's no real surprise but still, I am so happy to say that as of the PET scan taken 3 days ago, you are in remission. As of every test we have taken and ever picture we've seen, you are cancer free. This series of medications and targeted radiation have worked, Zoey."

He stopped speaking and just looked at me. I looked back, tilting my head to the side. "I'm sorry, what the fuck did you just say?" I asked softly. He chuckled and sat forward in his seat. "Say it again." I demanded quietly.

"You're in remission, Ms. Miller." he repeated just as quietly, with a broad smile, reaching forward and taking my hand. We stared at each other for a few minutes. "We can get you discharged as soon as this evening, once we set up a series of follow up appointments with your oncologist in San Francisco."

"MOM!" I hollered the moment he stopped talking. She almost immediately rushed into the doorway with tears already in her eyes and a very loud look of fear on her face. "Mama, I'm in remission" I sobbed out. She stared at me for a few long blinks and then turned to the doctor, who was nodding. She sank to her knees and covered her mouth with her hands, openly sobbing into them. 

Harry's POV

When I was younger and in the band I had this ability to turn off everything else inside myself and work. I had trained myself, as I was part of this team that was so much more than just me and needed to be selfless and give it my all to do my brothers justice. I was so grateful for this ability now, as I had a big, important show to prepare for even though I honestly couldn't care less. The week leading up to this 'One Night Only' gig at MSG we ran through the new songs and old ones over and over. I was there, I did my part, but I was checked out. I didn't feel the excitement or anticipation I knew I should. All I could focus on was the fact that Zoey wouldn't be on the side of the stage cheering me on like I had pictured when I found out about the show. I had been so excited to perform for her, show her what I did, what my passion was. 

I knew this was still a very important show, I owed my fans my best. I also knew I would bring it on the day of the show. I would see their faces and let their love flow through me and fuel my act like I always did. I also knew it would be a filmed performance so I didn't get to blow it off fully. I needed to nail these new songs, even though they properly transported me back into my peak time in Chicago which tore my healing heart back into shreds. 

I would be doing some older songs but also 3 new ones, all 3 of which were directly about her. It was hard to turn that part off, and I had a feeling that when the time came I would need to just channel the feelings into energy for the performance. Otherwise I might not make it through. I just needed to do it, get it done. I could do this, I knew I could be a professional when I needed to be. 

Finally, the day came. I woke up with a slightly lighter heart than I had felt in months. I figured it was just my gratitude for the distraction and the reminder of what I was supposed to be doing. I decided to try to run with it, hitting the gym in my building in New York and getting a green juice. I tried not to think about the stolen green juice I had shared with Zoey in Chicago, and just stay in the moment. I took my job for the day seriously, tuning in fully both mentally and physically for sound check and trying my absolute best. I wanted to show my band that I wanted to be back to myself, even if I was still working on getting there. At the end of soundcheck Mitch approached me as everyone else was wandering off stage. 

"On a scale of one to ten, how ready are you for this shit?" He asked.

I thought for a moment, looking out at the overwhelmingly large and empty arena. "8. I'm ready, but this could be better." I stated simply. I wasn't going to over think this today. I just needed to get through it and keep going.

"Ok good deal, I will accept an 8." He put his hand around my shoulder and squeezed. "I'd make it a 10 for you if I could." He tossed it quickly before turning to walk away quickly. That fucker didn't always say more, but when he did....it got right into my heart.