𝐬𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐤𝐬 𝐟𝐥𝐲 | q. fabray

The First Time

a/n - trigger warning for self harm because adalynn is a little emo baby who doesn't know how to cope with her emotions

There's always a first time for everything, however, not all of those firsts are good ones. Adalynn looked down at her crimson arms in horror, not even knowing how it got to that.

Maybe it had something to do with the way she still flinched every time a locker shut, flashbacks of Karofsky's bullying of her and her brother becoming scarier than they actually were. Maybe it had something to do with Rachel psyching her out every chance she got to remind her that she was more than happy to step in to play Lydia if she 'accidentally' couldn't make it to the show. Or maybe it had something to do with returning to the dark place she was in freshman year, not knowing how to cope with her mom's death, even though it had been years.

She just needed something to take her mind off of things...

"Addie?" Quinn called through the door.

"Jus-just a sec!" Adalynn said, turning on the faucet and washing her arms off, wincing in pain as the water hit her fresh wounds. "Shit. Shit, shit, shit."

"Adalynn, are you okay? You've been in there for over an hour."

"I'm fine," the younger girl lied as she patted her arms dry with some paper towels. "You're such a fucking idiot," she muttered under her breath as she threw the blade away in the small trash can she kept in the bathroom, burying it under the paper towels before wrapping her arms up with bandages. She took Finn's letterman jacket, which was lying on the counter, and put it on.

Might as well take advantage of these long sleeves to hide what my dumbass decided to do to myself.

Adalynn took a shaky breath, running a hand through her hair and wiping her face with the sleeves of her step brother's letterman before opening the bathroom door and coming face to face with her concerned girlfriend.

"Addie, have you been crying?" Quinn asked, reaching a hand out to wipe underneath the brunette's puffy, bloodshot eyes, frowning when a tear fell out. She pulled her into a hug, holding her trembling body close to her. "Sweet girl, what happened?"

"I... it-it's nothing," Adalynn sniffled, hugging the older girl tighter.

"It can't be nothing," Quinn frowned, comfortingly rubbing Adalynn's back. "You know you can tell me anything."

Tell her the truth. Maybe she can help.

She's gonna be so disappointed in you.

I mean, as long as we don't do it again it's fine, right?

"I just really miss my mom," Adalynn said, her tense body relaxing in Quinn's arms. It wasn't entirely a lie, but it wasn't exactly the truth.

What she doesn't know won't kill her...

****

Artie sat with his judgemental face on as he watched Adalynn, Blaine, Santana, and Puck rehearse Say My Name.

"Lydia, there you are!" Santana said in character as she and Puck came on stage as Barbara and Adam.

"Are you alright?" Puck asked, his acting improved since the mattress commercial.

"A-Dog, B-Town, my old pals!" Blaine exclaimed as Betelegeuse.

"Get away from her!" Puck shouted as he and Santana stepped between the two juniors as Artie directed them to do. "Lydia, this is a dangerously unstable individual."