Falling Together

I'm Not Willing to Give Her Up

Dax

I was sitting in my room on the bed in my gym shorts, watching criminal minds when my phone rang. I looked around and finally found it buried underneath the cat. I pushed him off and he meowed in protest. Lotto's name came across the screen. Part of me doesn't want to answer. I know he understands what happened between me and Maisie but he also made it clear that he thought I was being an idiot.

I knew after blowing up at Dax earlier that I would be hearing from him. After all he has always been like a father to me too. And after everything that happened with my mom and what I almost did after.. I knew he worried about me.

I take a deep breath. I guess the only thing I can do is get it over with.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Dax, it's Lotto. Is Maisie with you?" He asks out of breath and almost in a panic. Immediately my heart rate picks up.

"No. What's going on?" I ask sitting bolt up. I'm reaching for my shoes under the bed as I hold my phone between my shoulder and my face. Already my mind is splintering into scenarios in my head where Maisie is in pain or in trouble and she needs me to get to her as fast as I can. 

"Something came up. She didn't handle it well and she ran out of the house. I thought she'd come right back but she didn't. Noah and I have been looking for hours."

"I'll come help. I'll check the beaches." I say as I move to my dresser to get a shirt. I hear Lotto say his thanks and then I toss my phone to the bed and  grab any shirt that's in reach.  Moving to get my keys from the key ring on the wall I move for the front door when I hear pounding on the shake the walls. 

"Thank god." I whisper as I drop my stuff and go to open the door. There's only one person it could be. Sure enough I swing the door open and there's Maisie. Tears streaked face, hair a mess, and in shorts and a tank top. You can see the sun burn that has set in from being under the mid day sun. 

"I ..I know.. I shouldn't be here." She's hiccups. "But right now..." she says letting out a choked sound as if to say ' please don't make me say it'. Her eyes are looking anywhere but at me. She's trying to focus on something solid and ground herself to the present.. the best thing I could do to help her is hold her. To let her know I'm here. I know, I know, I'm not supposed to. But seeing her beautiful face this broken I just can't seem to care.

Right now? Maisie needs me.

"Maisie." I breath out reaching out to her and pulling her inside. I hold onto her as I kick the door closed and I just hold her. Her small frame is shaking. She's fighting really hard to stay in control, and I hate that I can't make whatever pain she's feeling go away. After a few seconds she pulls away from me.

She seems to struggle with the idea of letting go. Letting go of Maisie never had anything to do with not liking her anymore, or her liking me. We were still crazy about each other. Noticing too late that we probably shouldn't have hugged she takes a step back and holds onto her elbows instead. New tears fall. And I can't help but think.. Are these tears for me? Or for whatever happened before?

I really want to reach out and wipe away the tears. But that's also something I'm not supposed to do anymore. I hated seeing her hurting. It flipped a switch inside of me that made me want to tear someone apart.

Maisie started taking sporadic deep breaths and shaking even worse She lifted her hands and tried shaking them violently to keep it together but then she just... broke.

She slammed into me and held onto me like she was sinking and needed me to keep her up. At first I was shocked. Maisie hated being touched when she was in an episode. But as a sob ripped through her and her knees gave out, I held on tight as I bent down and followed her to her knees.

I tucked her in close to me and put my fingers through her hair. We sat like this just holding each other for what seemed like an eternity. Till we fit together in each others arms like two pieces of the same broken mind.

Her gasps had turned to light hiccups and her breathing eventually slowed altogether till it matched mine. A few minutes more and she was calm enough that her breathing was barely a whisper against my chest. Maisie's fingers were dug into my skin and for the first time I realized I never put on a shirt. I glanced down to see if she was ok with that little detail and found her eyes closed.

I smiled.

I hated that she had cried herself to sleep. But I was overjoyed that she came to me. Trying to keep away from her was killing me, and after screaming at Noah earlier today I wasn't sure if I'd actually be able to stay away from her anymore. But now I know Maisie had been struggling with not needing me just as much.

And fuck us, it had only been a week.

I swung her legs out and picked her up bridal style and carried her to my bed to lay her down.

Beast jumped on the bed and eyed her carefully before deciding he didn't care and curled up beside her stomach. I should really let Lotto and Noah know she's here.

I text Lotto and tell him I found her, and that I'll bring her home when she's ready.

I know I should be telling him she's here and that he can come get her but.. I know she's not ready to go home yet. I walk out of my room and grab the shirt I was trying to throw on and slipped it over my head. I wanted to be decent when she woke up so she wouldn't think I was any kind of inappropriate while she was asleep.

I go back and sit on the chair in the corner of my room and watch her sleep. I don't know what it is that hurt her but I really hope that me going off on Noah didn't have anything to do with it.

I loved Noah like a brother. Always have, Always will. However looking at Maisie I know I'd punch him clean in the face if he was the one that hurt her, of that I have no doubt.

Looking at Maisie asleep in my bed I realise something I knew even when I broke it off. I'm not willing to give her up. I wouldn't lose her. I would protect her with everything I had and I would face Noah a thousand times over if I had to.

As long as I got to be with her it would be worth it.

I sat there in my room and tried to think of the best way to talk to Maisie when she woke up. I guess now all I can do is hope and pray she feels the same way. .