Falling Together

Perspective

DAX

Maisie and I are sitting on our surfboards rocking back and forth in the waves. Now that Noah is ok with us being together it has been much easier to steal every free moment she has. Having Maisie next to me has to be the best feeling I've ever had. I've had other girlfriends in the past, I mean come on, I'm a guy. But something about being with Maisie just made me want to be better.. Not just better at dealing with my PTSD, but be a better version of myself. I watched her as she paddled out to meet a wave and turn her board around to coast down.

She stood up on the board flawlessly, knees not even shaking for balance, and then turned her board to slide down the length of the wave. She moved up and pulled her board in the opposite direction and I couldn't help but smile.

That's my girl.

I was worried about her last night. She had texted me and asked me to stay with her. I never have a problem staying over, but something about her actually asking me to stay, I knew something was wrong. Usually it's a silent thing we agree on. We look at each other and we nod that I'm staying or just hug if we are ok, and I stay at my place. She tried to tell me it was because of the hearing next month. But I knew for the most part her and Noah already talked it through and she knew they would be there if she needed them.

She eventually told me it had to do with her mom. We have had small talks about her mother before. Maisie used to worship her mom. She put her on a pedestal and thought of her as the someone doing her best with the single mom life. But after Maisie's accident it was hard for her to look at her the same.

The PTSD and anxiety of what happened put things into a new perspective for Maisie. She saw the danger she had been put through all those years.. All those times she was left alone for sometimes days at a time or tried to cook with the stove when she was only 5 years old. Walking to school, alone, at only 5 years old and every year until she graduated... She used to be proud of being able to do those things. And now she saw that she never should have had to do those things in the first place. Her mom should have been there for her. And she wasn't. Just like she wasn't there the one night she needed her more than anything else in the world.

I held Maisie all night. She cried only a little. I wasn't quite sure what to tell her to make her feel better and when I tried, she just told me there was nothing to say. It happened, now she was just trying to find a way to live with it. I didn't like when she talked like this. It reminded me of how bad I had gotten after my accident.

I just got so depressed.. I didn't want to live anymore. I didn't want to feel the pain or remember the good times I had with my mother when I couldn't even hold her anymore. I just wanted the blackness that would come with death. The nothingness. I looked down at Maisie and held her as tight as I could. Back then I pushed people away when I was fighting my demons. But Maisie wanted me here. So I would be here for her no matter what. I wouldn't let her fall as low as I had gotten. I just couldn't..

She paddles back to me with the biggest smile and I can't help but lean over and give her a kiss.

"You're amazing." I say, making her giggle. I'm glad that all of the heartache of last night seems to be in the past. For now, I have my smiling Maisie back.

"Thanks. I need to get back on my former level if I'm gonna take on this new job."

"New job?" I ask, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah! Sorry I forgot to tell you yesterday. I'm still going to help at the garage and stuff when I can though."

I pout at her. Two jobs?

"What?"

"You're not gonna have any time for me." I say frowning at her.

She blushes. "Dax.. you eat dinner at my house and sleep in my room almost every night."

She's right Of Course, but I'm not going to tell her that. I always wanted more time with Maisie.

"Hey. What if we go out on Sunday? The shop will be closed while they put in the new glass windows. And I don't start my new job till Monday."

Hmm.. "I guess that could work." I say thinking about what I could do that would make it the best night ever. Then the idea hits me.

"Oh god.. why are you smirking?" She laughs.

"You'll just have to wake up at 6am Sunday to see." I smile.

"6am! Are you crazy?!"

"No. But I am excited." I say smiling at her.

In all the months that Maisie has been here at the island and all the visits she has had over the years I don't think she's ever really seen how beautiful and empowering being here can be.

We had talked about it once before. I remember telling her that it sucked she came here in such poor circumstances because I wish she could see Samoa for what it is.

Haven. A family. A bond of people stronger than anything else or anywhere else in the world. Samoa was my saving grace. My moms saving grace.

And I couldn't wait to share it with my girl.