I was born in a city 30 minutes outside of town that I would call home for the next 19 years of my life.
It was just me and my mom.
I was born an only child to parents who were past "their prime" as some would say it.
My parents were not technically together, as they only dated briefly and then I was born.
My dad lives in another state.
He was in the military for 28 years.
I would visit him during school breaks and summer.
My mom and I lived in a trailer park, which had two bedrooms and two bathrooms.
My mom had a white cocker spaniel.
She made sure to take care of me the best she could by herself, raising a baby when she thought she would never have children.
My mom's father passed away when I was 6.
My dad's father passed away when I was 8.
Both of my grandmothers passed within years of each other, one at 16 and one at 17.
Even to this day, I wonder why my mom decided to have me, after living by herself for years.
I remember her teaching me how to make PB & J sandwiches.
I had a bed with belle-themed bedding as beauty and the beast was one of my favorite movies.
There were tons of books, the littlest pet shop toys, and plenty of stuffed animals.
My baby blanket was a pooh bear blanket.
I had an angel that would say prayers when pressed.
My mother believed in god but wasn't into organized religion.
She never pushed me into it at all and I became an atheist.
After I was about 12, we began living with other people.
Either with my aunt or with my mom's friends.
From 5th grade until now, I have had to share a room with her.
Which I don't mind at all.
All of the things that I had at that time were put in storage and I haven't seen them to this day.
Every birthday I had until I was 12, was always a decent size with family members from both sides.
One side of the family had to be cut off due to personal reasons and to this day I wish it could've been different.
I made many friends throughout my life.
There was one person that I was friends with from kindergarten until he moved away.
He was also my first love.
My best friend was a girl in my class, however, I was not her best friend.
To be honest, reflecting on all my school years, I never had a real best friend.
They would be considered mine but I was not theirs.
In 6th grade, I lived with my dad due to my grandmother's poor health on my mom's side.
That same year I had my first boyfriend, (I had one from then on until my senior year of Highschool.)
Fast forward and we hit 8th grade graduating to Highschool.
My lifelong friend cut ties with me.
I was thrown into Highschool by myself.
It was hard to make friends again after depending on one person my whole life.
I was the weird kid growing up, talking to trees, having imaginary pets, and reading way too much.
Along with that, I was very defensive of my friends and the things I liked.
Due to the way I looked I did get bullied a little, mind you that elementary kids bully everyone in some way.
I was never fond of this town.
It never felt like home, but I'm still here.
I managed to make friends, but of course, they never lasted very long.
By the time I graduated Highschool I was by myself completely.
I spent my junior and senior years at home due to Covid, I never did in school only online.
Which cut me off from my friends and help with the classes.
I graduated high school with a decent GPA and a scholarship.
I took a gap year and worked for 6 months at a feed store.
I quit the day before my 19th birthday due to mental strain.
(A/N if you feel like the job you're in or school you attend is affecting your mental health please leave if you can, if you cannot, please find ways to have it not be as stressful for you. You come first in this life and any life after.)
