I spent New Year's alone.
Which is fine.
I didn't join my friend at the party.
(She got flowers from a guy).
I told her happy new year.
It'll be a good year.
I know I'm not people's priority.
I don't expect to be.
Sometimes I'm not sure if my friends even like me.
I'd never tell them, though.
My mom cares a lot.
She called me yesterday and wished me happy new year and told me about her dinner.
I smiled.
We talked about this year and my goals.
To get a job, a credit card and a passport.
Things will get better.
I'll be better.
It's been almost 6 years.
I want to be better.
I'm so tired of feeling like this.
I want people to stay and depend on me.
I want people to depend on.
Tell nobody anything, ever.
That does nothing.
I used to tell people everything.
That does nothing.
There's a balance between it.
(You should find better friends, if you feel like you can't talk to them about things or rely on them)
Humanity is based socially.
Without a lot of third places, in some parts of the world.
A good idea is to get slightly comfortable being alone.
Not lonely though.
Being lonely isn't good.
People should be able to confide in others and get support.
The world shouldn't be so dependent on individuality.
Being an individual is a wonderful experience.
But sometimes when you step back and see that people don't think like you.
It's interesting.
I can only hope there's good things.
All good things.
Good sunrises and sunsets.
Good food.
Good music.
Good car rides.
Another year.
Another time.
This time.
Hopefully.
Just try your best, take breaks.
Eat three meals and have snacks.
Drink water.
Go for a walk outside, for some fresh air.
Stretch.
There's always today and tomorrow.
And always.
It's all good.
Everything is okay.
Do the things you love, and spend time with the people you love.
(I'm excited for my birthday because I'll get to see my mom.)
I'll also be 21 so that's exciting as well.
21.
Crazy to think how old I've gotten.
I certainly don't feel near 20.
I want this year to be soft.
And fun.
Lots of fun.
So much fun I end up with more laugh lines.
Don't doubt yourself.
Have faith and believe in your abilities.
You're a good person.
And you're wonderful.
Don't let other people talk down to you.
People are silly.
(A/N HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!! 2024 here we are <333)
