I don't want to spend my life wishing I was someone else.
Or missing the person I used to be
That's no life to be lived.
I want to do better.
Sometimes I wish it just turned out differently.
I wish I never had to worry about all the things I do.
I get so frustrated trying to understand other people and even myself.
(Curse of an infj I guess).
I miss when I enjoyed being alive in all honesty.
I've been trying hard to be grateful and enjoy the little moments.
But I don't want to do that for the rest of my life, just to "get by".
There's no stability in that and I think it would only cause further problems.
Sometimes I don't even know where to start, or who to blame.
Is there anyone to blame?
Should I blame someone?
Today I didn't really speak a lot.
Gave me a lot of time to reflect.
Maybe I only speak to be heard.
But I don't think so.
I love to sing.
Music is a really wonderful thing.
It's art in it's true form.
I'd like to learn the piano for fun.
Learning to paint would be fun too.
I would like to make desserts.
Something I thought about a while ago.
Maybe this life, was something I wished I had in another.
I do deserve better.
I deserve to be happy.
I want to be happy.
The twist of human emotion always gets me.
It's so unreliable.
I feel like a few certain of my friends get me.
My roommate.
And Dev, if you're reading this.
Love you!! lol.
I always feel like I can be myself around them.
Safely.
Most people I'm safeguarded against.
They want me to enjoy life and be happy.
I want the same but tenfold for them.
Anything they pursue I hope they get it.
And always get treated with love and respect.
For my best friend, who got out of a bad situation.
I am constantly proud of her.
To no end.
I'm always impressed.
Things will work out.
They always do.
Just not in the way you might think.
Stay good and hopeful.
The sun rises and the moon rises.
The sun sets and the moon sets.
It's all good.
One day at a time, one hour at a time, one minute at a time.
You'll be just fine, I know it.
A/N (Feeling a little weird today and for the past week but feeling good today!!!)
