Ghosts

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Senna's pov
Song inspo BLURRY(out of place) by Crown The Empire
I hate this chapter. Mostly because I have covid and I couldn't think too well so of its messy I'm sorry. Kind of a filler. Meh.

When I awoke it felt like I had been sleeping for days, and I soon found out I had. It took a bit for my vision to adjust but there was a nurse by my side as soon as chimes alerted them I'd woken up.

After I blacked out in Ghost's arms he brought me to base where medical watched over me for two days. I could have woken sooner but they believed due to the trauma Ghost explained to them they had given me a little something to relax for a bit longer. That pissed me off.

I sat straight up, which was a mistake, the room spun around me and I held out my arms to steady myself even though I was still sitting. The nurse moved to steady me but I shrugged her off and shot her a glare when she continued yapping on.

I hated the lights here, they were blinding and the smell of bleach made my headache even worse.

I took a breath before I yanked the iv out of my arm. The nurse looked mortified and left, presumably to get help.

I was me again. I remembered everything, every death, every kill, every second. It didn't make me feel normal, it still felt strange because I remembered not remembering.

I remembered the woman who had woken up not knowing herself, and in a way I was still her. Everything hurt, even though I was aware of the time and place everything felt so fresh. I winced as my head continued to pound, looking down to avoid the lights. I needed to get the fuck out of here, I needed to talk to Laswell.

After I had slipped on my boots I moved to the door but someone met me in the middle and we collided; Simon.

My breath caught in my throat as I looked up at him, seeing him in a different way for the first time in two years. It wasn't the same as when he'd been there to take me home, or kiss me on the counter last night. It felt more like a reunion because I remembered him. I didn't have to question my feelings for him, or ask myself why I had them to begin with. I knew it all.

I'd missed him, in a way I'd only missed the dead but he was right there in front of me.

I wanted to pull his mask off and kiss him right there, grab his shirt and pull him into me. But I felt different, not about him, but about myself.

He didn't know I remembered, I could see it in the way he looked at me.

"Get back in bed." He ordered, taking my arm to inspect where the blood had dripped down from my iv.

"When pigs fly maybe." I muttered and I could feel his grip tighten as his eyes searched mine.

Part of me wanted to keep it from him, lie. I knew it was better if I just let him go. This back and forth worrying about each other was exhausting.

But I'd made him promise I'd come back, and I'd gone through way too much to let him go now.

I figured we'd always feel that way, that we'd know we were better soldiers if we had stayed emotionless, focused. But we were too damn broken to stay that way and if loving each other kept us alive then we were better at our jobs for it anyway.

Work still came over my need to undress him right then and there so I placed a hand on his chest and pushed him out of the room, leaving the nurse even more frantic than before. She'd be fine.

"How much?" He asked as he stepped backwards, gaze never leaving mine.

"Everything." I whispered and he took a breath that sounded like he'd been holding since I left. "We'll talk about it later, I need to talk to Kate." I added before he could say my name, I didn't think I could handle it at the moment.

I turned to head down the hallway and he fell into step beside me. That was something I loved about him, he read the situation and understood instantly, because he was the same as me.

"She's here, with Price. The men from the other night they're-"

"With the arms dealer from New Mexico, they were american." I finished for him and I could feel him look at me from the side.

"Laswell said she doesn't know what they were doing here, that it makes no sense."

"Because I haven't been able to tell her what I found out."

We rounded the corner and I didn't even bother to knock on Price's office door before entering, Ghost on my heels.

The both of them looked surprised, both of them already standing.

"Lieutenant." Price greeted though his voice was confused.

I moved to his desk, glancing over the documents Laswell already had spread out.  I didn't have time to explain how I was or anything else. My mind was turning with work, knowing we had to act fast.

"Remember the missiles we couldn't track down from Varikov? The last three?" I started and at my words they both gave a nod, realizing I was back.

"They have them. They took the chance to clean up the crumbs while we were in Russia." I said angrily as I spread out the papers in front of me.

Everything from New Mexico had come back with everything else but it was the first chance I really had been able to think about it, to analyze it.

"What are they planning with them? And why did they come after you and Ghost?" Kate asked, moving to stand beside me.

"How were they able to hide the missiles? We knew where they were supposed to have been moving to, they got there that quick?" Price chimed in then and it seemed Laswell had filled him in a bit.

"They worked for Shepherd before we took him out. They were supposed to get the missiles in the first place, he wanted them in America." I explained slowly, still working some of it out myself. "I don't know what they plan with them. At first I thought it was all for profit, sell them to the highest bidder. But I think Graves took over. I don't know what his angle is. I think he thinks I know at least that, or maybe more, which would explain why he sent some of them after me."

"They weren't shadow company." Ghost said.

"No, they wouldn't risk it after the fallout from Shepherd. Someone else might be above Graves now, but I don't know who. Kate?" I said as I looked over at her, her brow was furrowed, taking in the information.

"So we've come full circle. Shadow company doesn't exist anymore. I'll look into what I can and get back to you."  She explained as she straightened, ready to leave. "Good to have you back, Lieutenant." She said as she left and I could feel Price giving us a strange look.

"What?" I asked as I looked up at him, he was smiling.

"Kate said you two had worked well together, I can see it now." He commented.

"It's amazing the things that women can accomplish that men can't, isn't it?" I warned, only half joking.

"How are you feeling?" He asked then, a little more seriously. I was still in work mode, I wanted to go but I knew I couldn't make my next move until Kate got back to me. I didn't like the idea of having enough time to think about anything else.

"I'm fine." I lied, pushing myself up from where I'd been leaning over his desk.

"You're lying, I know your tells." He said and that made Ghost perk up a bit, watch me a bit more closely.

"I'll shave you while you sleep if you say another word." I warned and he laughed. Price and I had a strange understanding too, one that I was glad he had yet to tell anyone else about.

"Go get some rest Lieutenant, you look terrible." Price said, waving me off. "Make sure she goes home, Ghost."

I wasn't going to argue, I knew Simon wouldn't let me anyways. With our job sometimes there were just periods of waiting, I was just thankful I could at least put things in motion now. Plus, I was starving.

"What are you thinking?" Ghost asked as we made our way outside and I hesitated. I didn't want to tell him the truth, but I didn't want to lie to him either.

For once in my life, I truly didn't know what to do.